


would you dance for me too ? (i'm counting on you)

by bratzhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Character Development, Childhood Friends, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, I hope, Kinda, Love Triangles, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Not polyamory, Unrequited Love, i don't know how to tag, idk what this is honestly, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2019-12-25 19:29:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18267902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bratzhyuck/pseuds/bratzhyuck
Summary: The first time Mark meets Donghyuck, he is 8 and he hates him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hellow!!  
> ive been writing this since forever and it's far from being finished but i just wanted to post it and see even though i intended to post it when it's done...... it's also really really bad honestly i don't even think anyone will read this but!! if you do please be nice :(  
> i have some sort of plot in my head but i keep adding things along the way so this is MESSY + i think there are a lottt of mistakes and it probably sucks because english is not my native language so hehe  
> anyway idk why im talking so much no ones gonna read it so here's a first part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Mark meets Donghyuck, he is 8 and he hates him.

The first time Mark meets Donghyuck, he is 8 and he hates him.

 

Honestly, it's not surprising : the younger boy is everything he's not. Donghyuck is confident, funny and mischievious. What is surprising, is that everyone but Mark seems to love Donghyuck. Mark doesn't understand. Donghyuck is always saying mean things and pulling dumb pranks on everyone, and okay, maybe he doesn't mean them, maybe he always laughs and hugs his victims after, but still, how could someone like that be loved by everybody? Mark just doesn't get it.

It's stupid, but yes, it's one of the reasons why Mark hates Donghyuck.

Mark has always struggled with the whole « making friends » thing, even though he is still a kid and friendship shouldn’t be that deep. In reality, he has friends. Not many, but he has friends. Jeno is one of them, but there is also Jaehyun and Sicheng.

His lack of friends is not the only thing, though; if it was just that, he wouldn’t be so bothered. The fact is that people don't just ignore him, they dislike him. Which is weird because, even if he wouldn’t say so himself, he has heard the people around him say it plenty of times : Mark is nice. He is nice and smiley, it's easy to make him laugh. He doesn't talk much but he answers when he is talked to and he can keep a conversation going -as much as 7 years olds converse. So when his classmate at school told him for the first time he didn’t like him at the beggining of the school year, he didn't really understand. His classmate then told him that he was boring and not fun to hang with. Mark heard it many times ever since. Seeing Donghyuck only reminds him of that. Is it that important to be fun? He has always been told that being nice is the most important thing so that’s what he is. Nice. With everyone for that matter, even the people that don't deserve it like that classmate. Mark was expected to be mad or to say mean things back at him but he only smiled at him awkwardly and said something along the lines of "Ah really? I’m sorry, I’ll try to be more fun from now on", which only got the other boy to scoff and walk away. Honestly, Mark wanted to get mad. He wanted to reply something smart, but he just wasn't able to.

This isn't the main reason why Mark dislikes Donghyuck, though. For some reason, the boy is even meaner to Mark than to anyone. Well, everyone would say « playful » but Mark just doesn't see it that way. Donghyuck always provokes Mark more, even though the latter did absolutly nothing. And everytime he complains, he's always told that "It's just how Hyuck is", "Don’t take it personnaly", "He’s just having fun". But what about Mark having fun ?

 

The first day of the summer camp, Mark was in a bad mood. He didn’t want to go, and despite having told his mother many times, she hadn’t listened to him and said that « It will help you make friends baby, I think it will do you good ». So for the three months before camp started until the moment he sat alone in the bus, he was determined to go through it the faster he could, without having any unnecessary interactions. Then he would go home, find his comfort zone again and everything would be back to normal. That’s with this mindset that he looked by the window through the whole ride to the meeting point without really listening to his mother telling him how fun it will be and how proud she was of him, just humming in answer sometimes. She then left him by the bus with a peck on his cheek and a warm smile.

"Have fun, Mark!" His mom waved excitedly and then got back in the car, already late enough for work.

Mark barely looked at her and rushed to the bus. He sat on an empty spot and opened his first book. He brought a lot because he knew he wouldn’t do anything that involved interacting with the other kids.

However fate -more like a certain boy- decided differently for him.

He wasn’t sitting for 5 minutes that a stranger sat besides him. Mark looked up from his book and turned his head to his side to see a little boy looking right back at him, a big smile plastered on his face. His eyes looked like two crescent moons. They stayed like that for a few seconds, looking at each other, one with his eyes blinking too often and the other with a smile that grew bigger with every second.

Mark then thought that he should break the silence.

"Hello ?" he said, a bit hesitant. What did the other want? Why did he sit besides him? Why was he smiling so much? Mark looked around him to see if anyone else was looking at them, laughing. Mark had been the victim of this kind of pranks too many times. Someone faking he wants to be your friend before humiliating you in front of all his friends doesn't feel nice.

"Hello ! Do you like chocolate bars? I have one left. I guess I could keep it and eat it later, but I thought that maybe you’d want it?" the boy said while holding out the said chocolate bar in front of Mark, who was as confused as before. Seeing the lack of answer from Mark, the other boy seemed to suddenly understand something as he opened his mouth round and giggled.

"I’m Jeno by the way, sorry I forgot to introduce myself. What’s your name?"

The boy -Jeno he said- looked at Mark with his big eyes as if he was the most interesting person he ever met. He was still similing and _doesn't it get tiring to smile all the time like that ?_ Mark thought.

He hadn’t answered yet but the sudden attention Jeno was giving him was actually making him nervous. "I’m Mark," he gulped as his voice came out much less confident than he wanted it to be.

Jeno didn’t seem to notice or at least he didn’t say anything for which Mark felt quite grateful.

"Hi Mark!" Jeno said while laughing softly, "So ?" he then asked, which Mark didn’t understand until he saw the chocolate bar Jeno was handing to him again.

Mark didn’t really know why, and to this day, he still doesn’t know why he trusted Jeno right this instant, what made him like the other kid almost immediatly but he did.

So he smiled back for the first time and took the chocolat bar.

 

Mark and Jeno spend most of their time together since. Their friendship is like an evidence for everyone, and nobody dares separate them. The thing is that Mark really adores Jeno, he feels different than his other friends at home. He's used to having older friends, because they're his parents’ friends’ kids and Mark is what's called a « late baby ». So even if his friends are only two, or three years older, somtimes he can still feel the age gap, when talking about certain topics or doing certain things. Mark loves his friends and he would never tell them, too scared of seeming like a baby -which is exactly the issue here- but sometimes, he does feel a bit rejected. It isn't his friends’ fault but he just can't help but feel like that sometimes.

But Jeno is different. He's younger but it doesn't feel like he is. Jeno tells Mark everything and never does anything without him -and so does Mark. Jeno doesn't find Mark boring, and he likes him just as much as Mark does.

Mark feels really happy.

 

The second week of the camp has just started and he is still as close as Jeno as he was the first day. He doesn't feel like he needs other friends but he still talks with the others, as Jeno seems to like befriending everyone.

 

(It made Mark a little insecure one night, and he told his friend who was occupying the little bed just besides his.

"Jeno," he whispered hesitantly, "Are you still awake ?" He felt a little dumb talking by himself in the dark and he was about to give up when he heard a voice he knew just too well.

"Yeah," Jeno answered just as quietly as Mark, "What is it Mark ?"

Mark took his time to answer, suddenly feeling like he was being overly dramatic. He registered the soft breathing of the other boys sharing their dorm’s room and let his eyes get used to the dark. Then, he was able to see the shilhouette of his friend enlightened by the moonlight.

Mark got closer to the other bed.

"Will you leave me ? If you find other friends," Mark’s breathing got heavier. He was a bit scared. He didn't want to lose his best friend. And Mark's just so boring, why would someone as wonderful as Jeno (or anyone at all) want to be his friend? Why would Jeno still want him around when he could have so many other friends, much funnier and more interesting than Mark? "Will you leave me ?"

The kid in the bed behind Mark's moved a bit. Mark clenched the bed’s sheet. Jeno didn’t move or said anything.

Mark was starting to panick a little. He didn’t mean to pressure Jeno, after all if he wanted other friends who was he to stop him? But what would Mark do without him?

Then Jeno shifted on his side and his face was just in the right angle to be illuminated by the moonlight filtring through the window. Mark didn’t want to look at him, though. He suddenly felt very embarrassed and he was in the middle of regretting his every word, about to apologize to his friend when Jeno cut him off.

"I would never, you’re my best friend Mark," he said, his voice so soft Mark wanted to cry.

Jeno then reached out his hand and grabbed Mark’s. The action made Mark look at him and he could see Jeno’s sweet smile as he held his hand tight.

"Forever."

Mark cried a little.)

 

Mark hears Donghyuck before actually seeing him.

He’s sitting on a bench with Jeno, waiting for the others to come to play dodgeball like it was decided in the morning when he hears a loud laugh. Mark looks on his right, then on his left but he doesn’t see anyone. He hears the same laugh again, clear, high-pitched and very loud, quickly followed by other laughs. Before he can register anything, a tanned boy jumps on Jeno’s back and screams in his ear. Jeno jumps, but not as much as Mark, scared out of his wits. He lets out a surprised scream and almost falls from the bench but he (fortunatly) grabs Jeno in time and hides behind his back.

What he doesn’t see is the unknown boy’s wide eyes and Jeno’s smirk. What he does hear, is the stranger’s loud laugh, that he recognizes as the one he heard just a moment ago. It is quickly followed by Jeno’s own laugh and some other kids’ behind him. Mark can feel his cheeks heat up as he slaps Jeno’s shoulder, « It’s not funny ! » Mark pouts.

The boy then slides on the bench next to Jeno and starts talking to him while all the other kids stay here. Mark is too busy wondering how this boy knows Jeno and he doesn’t have time to wonder why all these kids are staying here and looking at the new boy like he is the best thing in the world.

One girl, that he knows to be Sooji, asks the boy something which diverts his attention from Jeno. Mark takes this opportunity to ask his friend, "Who is this ?"

Jeno looks at him, a bit surprised and Mark doesn’t get why until his friend answers, "Donghyuck. You don’t know him? Pretty much anyone does, I thought you did too."

Mark shakes his head. He doesn’t know the said « Donghyuck », in fact he hasn’t even seen his face before and he thought he had talked to everyone since the start of the camp (which was certainly not his initiative, but, you guessed it, Jeno’s), so he finds it a bit weird.

"He talks a lot, and he’s very loud, but he is the funniest! I think you will like him," Jeno says, smiling.

 

Mark doesn’t like Donghyuck.

Jeno was right, he is very noisy and _does he ever stop talking ?_ They’re playing a dodgeball game, they’re running around all the time and he still finds a way to talk a lot more than needed. Everyone seems to like it though. Everytime Donghyuck opens his mouth, a wave of laughter can be heard.

The thing is, Donghyuck is funny, he can admit that. But he doesn’t see why he can’t shut his mouth for 5 seconds or why everyone laughs that much. Like, okay, that joke was funny, but do you need to roll on the ground laughing? Everybody seems to think that yes, you do.

But that’s not the only thing. If it was just Donghyuck’s jokes, he could tolerate it, having fun is good, laughing is good and everyone seems to be having fun.

But why does this kid keep attacking him?

Unfortunatly, Jeno and Mark aren’t in the same team, so Mark can’t hide behind anyone (despite Jeno being smaller than him, he still does). But still, there are plenty of other kids here, so why does Donghyuck only aim at him?

If Mark is in front, at the back, on the side, if there are only 3 persons left in his team or 15, Donghyuck seems to only attack him. Does Mark look that weak?

The worst thing is that he succeeds almost everytime and the annoying laugh that errupts from him everytime makes Mark want to rip his hair off. However, he doesn’t say anything and lines up on the side calmly as Jeno looks at him with a sorry face but smiling eyes.

It turns out Jeno and Donghyuck look very close. Well, from what Mark has seen, Donghyuck looks close with everyone but it’s different with Jeno. They get along so well, it looks like they’ve known each other for years.

Mark’s heart pangs with a feeling he know all too well. He forces himself to think of Jeno’s words, and he starts fidgeting with his sleeve.

During dinner, when Mark and Jeno are sitted besides each other, Mark can’t hold himself anymore and asks the question that has been bothering him the whole afternoon.

"How do you know Donghyuck ?"

He can see Jeno is about to tell him that everyone knows him once again, so he reformulates, "I mean, how did you become friends ?"

Truly, Mark thought about it, but he doesn’t understand. He is always with Jeno, he knows everyone Jeno knows. He couldn’t have had forgotten Donghyuck.

"He’s my cousin."

Mark looks up to Jeno and his face must have been funny because his friend starts giggling.

"Your cousin was here this whole time and you didn’t tell me ? Why didn’t you hang out with each other sooner ? How did-"

Jeno’s laugh shut him off. Mark looks at him in disbelief. It isn’t that funny really, he just thinks that if his own cousin was here he would have talked to him and hung out with him at least for the first few days, but Jeno was glued to him since the first day.

"We just thought it would be nice to make other friends and not stay with each other all the time, so we separated from the start," Jeno said while still laughing softly. "Didn't you see us on the first day ? I think everyone heard Donghyuck dramatically yell and fake crying before we got on the bus."

Truthfully, he didn't. He didn't really pay attention to anything or anyone on the first day, conviced he would spend the whole time here by himself. However, what Jeno said isn't surprising, Mark can picture Donghyuck doing that very well, a bit too well if you asked him.

"But we stay with each other all the time, tough," Mark poutted.

"You know it’s different," Jeno shrugged his shoulder playfully.

"But still, you didn’t talk with him for a whole week ?" Mark doesn't get it. How can they possibly ignore each other for so long? It seems a bit difficult to Mark.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, we’ve been together for most of the time," Jeno laughed, "And as you can see Donghyuck is very... friendly."

 _That’s the least you could say say_. He looks up from his plate and catches a sight of the other boy. He's sitting two tables away and it looks like everyone's focused on what he is saying.

Mark doesn't realize he has been staring because when Donghyuck looks right back at him, he's a bit taken aback. Their staring competion lasts for a few seconds before Donghyuck sticks his tongue out and focuses back on one of his friend’s story.

Mark hates it.

 

After that, Mark doesn't hear much from or of Donghyuck for the rest of the camp. He forgets quickly about it and spends his time happily with Jeno and some other kids he's grown to like. After two other weeks, the camp came to an end and Mark doesn't actually want to go back home like he thought he would have. The last night before they leave, he suddenly feels very sad. The tears were threatening to fall when he hears Jeno shifting closer to his bed and reaching out to him. Mark shifts on his side and takes Jeno’s hand. It's when Jeno squeezes Mark’s hand in his that he knows everything will be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u read this to the end... i Love you (leave comments i beg u i take constructive criticism)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! i wasn't sure i should upload this so soon but it's 11:30pm and i love making impulsive decisions at night :D  
> so yeah here it is i wanna say im really grateful for the 15 kudos and 2 comments i got like:(( this sounds like nothing but it made me so!! happy!! also 136 hits!! i come here everyday to check and it makes me really happy ^3^  
> idk if you'll like this second part but... i hope so

The next summer, Mark goes back to camp. This year, Mark is 9 and he is very excited, much unlike the year before.

 

He exchanged letters with Jeno throughout the whole year and they talked about how much they missed each other so many times until one of them suggested that they go to the camp again. Ever since, they talked about how much they couldn’t wait to see each other again.

In those letters, they tell each other every single thing that happens to them, as irrelevant as it is. They talk about their grades (Jeno turns out to be attending a private school and having excellent grades. Mark out of a sudden feels kind of disappointed about his own but when Jeno tells him he's going to be the best doctor anyway, Mark feels better) or the friends they made. Mark can't help but lie about that. He can't bring himself to tell Jeno he doesn't have any friends in school, so he stays vague about it. Every letter that Mark gets is a ray of sunshine and a week of laughter. When Mark gets home after school, the first thing he does is checking the mailbox, the second is sitting at his desk to write a letter. As simple as Mark's life is, he always finds things to talk about, for Jeno.

 

Mark's mother reads some of his letters sometimes, when Mark doesn't want to make any mistake, and some of Jeno's when her son leaves them on the table of the living room. When Mark asks her to read one, he always stays in front of her the whole time, eyes big and smile bright and when she hands him back to him, he asks her, «  What do you think Jeno will reply  ?  » while giggling. Mark's mother has never seen him that happy and beaming.

 

His mom too, is really happy that her son's finally looking like he's breaking out of his shell and making friends by himself. When Mark got back from camp, and jumped in his mom’s arms talking about how he met a new friend called Jeno and that he was absolutely, certainly amazing and his new best friend, she almost cried. Mark was talking non-stop, about what they did, what they saw, and all the fun things they experienced, only stopping when he saw Jeno shyly approaching them. Then Mark grabbed Jeno’s elbow and said "Look! Look! It’s him, it’s Jeno! Jeno, this is my mom !"

Jeno greeted her politly and proceeded to take him away to his own parents a few steps away.

Mark was laughing and running around with his new friend, and when it was time to say goodbye, he cried while hugging Jeno very tight before linking their pinkies and promising to see each other soon again.

Mark’s mom had never seen her son being so expressive and she thought she would forever be grateful to the little Jeno for that.

When they got back home, Mark’s mom hugged him and listened to Mark’s blabbering for hours, never getting tired of it.

 

So she isn't really surprised when Mark spends the whole car ride talking about how excited he is to see Jeno after one year and about all the things he has to tell the younger boy.

 

The moment he steps out of the car, he sees Jeno’s black bouncy hair and runs to him while yelling bye at his mom who's smiling fondly at him. She stays there for a bit, watching her son running to Jeno with a big smile on his face before quickly leaving to work.

 

Jeno hears fast footsteps behind him so he turns around and when he catches a glimpse of Mark, he opens his arms wide while laughing happily.

They hug for quite a long time while talking about what they did the past year, what they learnt at school and all the things they're going to do together until they hear someone clearing their throat.

They both let go of each other and Mark looks behind his shoulder to see a familiar face.

 

"I want a hug too  !"

 

Donghyuck’s hair grew longer, his skin's a bit paler and he's now the same height as Mark.

 

Jeno laughs while grabbing Mark’s arm, "Sorry, you don’t deserve it!"

 

Donghyuck doesn't have time to answer as a tiny boy approaches him and pats his shoulder softly. Donghyuck turns around and his whole face lights up when he sees who it is.

 

"Renjun!" he yells while jumping in his arms. The other boy -Renjun- holds him and smiles softly. Mark thinks he reminds him of Jeno.

 

Jeno rolls his eyes while smiling and drags Mark along with him to the bus where they sit together before starting to chat happily.

 

 

Donghyuck's just as mischievious as before if not more, Mark finds out.

 

This time, they spend more time together as Mark now knows him. It turns out Donghyuck doesn't act the same with with his tiny friend Renjun, he's nowhere near as annoying as he is with anyone else (including Mark).

He doesn't make any mean comment, he doesn't pull any prank on him, he just jokes a lot.

Mark thinks it's weird. Why does he only act that way with Renjun? But then he thinks it's probably just because it’s _Renjun_.

 

And Mark learns to know Renjun. He seems to be Donghyuck’s best friend and, as strange as it seems, he is actually very similar to Mark. So naturally, they get along well quickly.

 

Renjun's quiet, but he doesn't hesitate to make cutting remarks, to anyone. Although Mark can hear a slight accent in Renjun's voice, the younger boy actually speaks Korean well enough to crack jokes here and there. Renjun's quite funny, yet, he doesn't smile much to anyone but Donghyuck but when he does, his crooked tooth can be seen and Mark finds it endearing.

He's also quite short and skinny, he looks fragile (Mark gets scared everytime he sees Donghyuck squishing him in a tight hug because Renjun always looks like he's going to break).

Renjun has very short black hair and Mark wondered why would someone cut their hair that way until the smaller boy told him that his brother thought it would be a good idea to cut it himself (it wasn’t).

Renjun is a bit mysterious but Mark likes him.

He doesn't understand how he can be best friend with Donghyuck though, as they're quite opposites. However Mark can see the same glint in Renjun's eyes than in Donghyuck's so he guesses they're not that different.

 

Renjun's like a paradox, Mark figures out one day.

 

He was walking around, looking for Jeno when he walks by a room from where two bright laughters can be heard. Mark slows his pace to peep into the room since he recognized Donghyuck's ear-piercing laugh. Indeed, it is Donghyuck, rolling on the floor from laughter but that isn't what surprises Mark. Donghyuck seems like he's always laughing, more or less, so it's not an unusual sight, but he also sees Renjun thrown on one of the bed, holding his stomach while he lets out a loud laugh that Mark has never heard before. That's the moment Mark understands that Donghyuck and Renjun have their own little world that no one else can figure out.

 

 

Mark still spends more time with Jeno. Jeno himself complained that he wanted to be with the older alone more, which flattered him. He didn't dare tell him that Donghyuck is Jeno’s cousin and not Mark’s so it was not really his fault they were hanging out with him and Renjun.

And to be honest, Mark's not really happy with spending time with Donghyuck. The other is still always picking on him for some reason Mark just doesn't get. It's starting to get on his nerves but he doesn't say anything as Donghyuck is his best friend’s cousin.

 

Donghyuck is just really annoying. He keeps acting this way yet everyone loves him. It really seems like Donghyuck has everything he wants. He has friends (the whole camp greet him every morning and he spends his time with someone different everyday; Renjun's always here though, Mark wondered how he didn't notice him last year but then he learnt that's because Renjun didn't come), he's good at sports and he can even sing.

 

This, Mark learns about it one night when they're all around the campfire. They do this once a week and it's everyone's favorite time of the week so no one would dare disturb it. The kids all sit together on the ground or on benches brought from the dorms and enjoy the campfire while eating marshmallows. Mark doesn't actually like marshmallows so he ends up giving his to Jeno everytime, but he doesn't mind. Mark doesn't notice one of the girls taking a guitar and starting strumming the chords before he hears a weird voice accompanying it. The voice's high, even higher than a kid's usual voice but it also has a nice touch to it that Mark can't decypher. Mark stops talking and turns his head to see where the voice's coming from.

 

Of course.

 

Mark always noticed Donghyuck's voice sounded different than the other kids', it has a unique string to it and it feels quite nice. Mark used to hate that voice, but seeing Donghyuck actually using it to sing such pretty tunes, with so much happiness and confidence on his face, Mark can't help but swing his head to the rythm.

 

Mark's craving honey suddenly and he doesn't notice Renjun’s smile at him.

 

 

Mark is tired.

 

It's almost midnight and they're all playing games in the common room of the dorm and Mark's tired. He was dozing off when he hears Jeno’s familiar voice whispering in his ear. "You can go to sleep if you want."

 

Mark opens his eyes and looks at Jeno, still sleepy, "But the game..." he starts before Jeno cuts him off.

 

"It’s okay, I can play with the others, it’s not fun anyways if you keep falling asleep."

 

Mark wants to say something but he doesn't know what, so he just nods and slowly gets up from his seat. He hears Jeno telling him good night to which he just hums before proceeding to go to their room.

 

He was walking down the corridor when he hears snifflings from the room next to his. Mark is really, really, tired but he's a kid so his curiosity takes over and he takes a peek inside the room. At first he doesn't see anything, so he thinks it's quite creepy, but then behind a bed, he can see the top of someone’s head.

He stays at the door a bit, wondering if he should go in but then he hears another sob and without thinking anymore, he steps into the room.

 

The more he moves forward, the more he can see of the person.

First, their hair is black. A very dark but shiny black. The person has a red sweater on that Mark feels like he has seen before, their legs are curled up against their chest and their head is between their knees.

Mark walks slowly, but the floor cracks and the stranger snaps their head up and Mark’s heart sinks.

 

Big brown eyes are looking at him, filled with tears.

 

As soon as Donghyuck recognises Mark, he wipes his tears away quickly and looks the other way, eyes red, without saying anything.

 

_He reminds me of this painting we saw at the museum with mom._

 

The silence's killing Mark but he doesn't know what to say so he just stands there.

 

_Say something, say something._

 

"So what ? Are you going to make fun of me ? Go ahead." Donghyuck says, but his voice's shaky, he almost chokes on his last words and Mark hears him sniffling against his sleeve.

 

Mark gulps. Why would he make fun of him ?

 

"Why would I ?"

 

"Well, I don’t know, you guess." Donghyuck replies almost immediatly as he looks at Mark straight in the eye. It's making Mark nervous. Donghyuck has never looked that angry before. He has never looked angry at all. He has never looked anything other than happy. Mark doesn't know what to do. Donghyuck scoffs.

 

"I'm not going to make fun of you." Mark finally says with a voice so quiet he wonders if Donghyuck even heard it.

 

"Yeah right. You’re just so nice, Mark."

 

Mark blinks. He looks at Donghyuck but the younger boy isn't looking at him this time.

 

"I don’t understand what you mean, Donghyuck." he then says, frowning.

 

"There’s a lot of things you don’t understand." Donghyuck answers, looking on his side.

 

Mark tilts his head. He has never seen Donghyuck like that, it's like a whole new person. But Donghyuck is still crying and he is not telling him to leave so Mark sits besides him and curls his legs up against his chest as well. Donghyuck doesn't move.

 

They stay in silence like that for a while. Honestly, Mark wants to say something. He really wants to. He wishes he was as good at giving advices, or just at comforting people, as Jeno was.

Jeno. Should Mark go and get him? He's Donghyuck’s cousin after all, he knows him more than anyone else. Or Renjun, he's his best friend, wouldn’t Donghyuck want to have him by his side?

 

But then Mark looks at Donghyuck, his bloodshot eyes and his tiny figure curled up behind a bed and he thinks about the younger coming to a dark empty room to hide and he thinks maybe Donghyuck doesn't want Renjun to see him like that.

 

Mark is biting his nails now. What would Jeno do in this situation? What would his mom do?

His thoughts are so loud in his head and he is _so_ tired, he almost forgot.

 

"Why are you still here ?"

 

Donghyuck’s voice makes Mark jump in surprise. He looks at the crying boy nervously and Donghyuck’s stare is just so sharp and scared and sad, Mark can feel his insides turn.

 

"I don’t know." he manages to stutter.

 

Mark realises it’s the longest conversation he ever had with Donghyuck. Usually, the younger boy just says something to annoy Mark -which works- and Mark tells him to stop but that's it. He never really talked to Donghyuck and he didn't feel the need or the want to do so.

 

Donghyuck smiles for a split second, but it's not the smile Mark is used to, not the one he shows to Renjun, Jeno or anyone, it's a bitter smile that sends shivers down Mark’s spine.

Then Donghyuck gets up and looks at Mark one last time before leaving the room.

 

Mark's just confused.

 

 

They don't talk about the incident after, or at all for that matter, but Mark feels much more awkward with Donghyuck now. Nobody notices though, since they were never really close.

 

Donghyuck is the same as before. He jokes and makes everyone laugh. He laughs just the same too. Mark sees the smile he wears all the time and can't help but wonder if it's fake. Donghyuck never smiles at him now.

He doesn't annoy Mark with his stupid remarks anymore, and Mark feels weird. He should be happy, but he feels like something is missing.

 

Even though he decides it shouldn’t ruin his trip and spends his time with Jeno just like before, he still thinks about it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i read and re read this almost ten times but the more i read it the more i hate it so . tell me if you hated it too <3 (or liked)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back :3  
> i had a looot of trouble with this one because i changed/added a lot of things so i hope the final result is good!!  
> also i can't believe so many people actually read this thank you so much!!

The next year, Mark is 10 and he goes to camp again. He and Jeno decided that they would go every year so they could see each other.

 

Mark’s mom looked happy about his enthusiasm to go to summer camp. Indeed, Mark made friends thanks to this thing his mom forced him to go to and he is grateful. So he tells his mom exactly that.

 

"Mom ?"

 

There's two days left until camp and Mark’s mom is on the sofa doing some work on her computer. When she hears her son, she lifts her gaze and smiles softly at Mark. She looks much more tired these days, her face paler and her movements slower but Mark doesn't really notice it, except that she goes to sleep two hours earlier than before and doesn't really go out during the weekends anymore.

 

"Yes baby ?"

 

"You know, I’m very happy you forced me to go to camp two years ago. Because I met Jeno and I talked to a lot of people! I even made other friends, Renjun and Donghyuck," he gulps, "So thank you, mom!" He ends, smiling.

 

His mom puts down her reading glasses. "I didn’t do anything love, it was all thanks to you," she starts while ruffling Mark’s hair, "And I’m very proud of you."

 

Mark laughs and jumps on the sofa next to his mom, asking her what she's doing. She answers she's working and Mark pouts. "You're always working."

 

She smiles sadly at him. "I know love, we'll hang out together before you leave, okay ? I promise."

 

"Tomorrow ?" Mark asks, expectantly.

 

His mom displays a sad smile. "I can't tomorrow, love, I have an appointment but the day after for sure."

 

Mark eyes wander across the living room and his eyes land on a small white box he has never seen before. He doesn't make any comment about the rising number of "appointments" his mom had to go to these past few weeks. "Of course ! I'll wait for you." He gives her a bright smile and she kisses his forehead.

 

Mark thinks he really loves his mom.

 

 

When he arrives to the bus, Mark doesn't see Jeno first. He thinks that his friend is going to come a bit later so he waits patiently with his mom next to the car. As Mark's telling her about the movie he watched the other day, her phone starts ringing. She picks up and takes a few steps away from Mark, talking in a low, quiet voice. Mark, as the kid he is, tries to grab his mom attention but she shushes him so he starts whining and doesn't see the worried look on her face. She hangs up and crouches down in order to be at Mark's eye level. She takes his hand and smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

 

"I'm sorry, I have to leave a bit earlier, but you're a big boy right  ? You don't need me here, right ?"

 

She looks at him with big eyes as she strokes his cheek, ruffles his hair and boops his nose and Mark doesn't really know if she's asking this to him or herself. She looks scared but Mark doesn't see it, too busy looking around, hoping to catch a sight of Jeno soon. He nods to his mother's words and hugs her back before she gets up and flashes a last smile at him as she gets back in the car and drives away.

 

Mark watches the car leave for a few seconds before turning his head back to the other cars parked, waiting for a specific one to show up.

 

Not even ten minutes later, a navy blue car Mark knows all too well stops next to the other cars parked. The door opens and Mark expects to see his best friend, so he excitedly runs to the car but someone else steps out. Mark comes to a sudden halt when he recognises the boy five meters in front of him.

 

Donghyuck's the same as last year, his hair just as black, his eyes just as brown.

 

His smile just the same.

 

Mark thinks Donghyuck hasn't noticed him but then the younger boy turns his head and his eyes meets Mark’s. Mark gulps.

 

It's been a whole year but Mark remembers exactly what happened this one night that made Donghyuck change his behavior towards him.

 

_Will he ignore me ?_

 

But unexpectedly, Donghyuck does just the opposite. His smile grows ten times wider and he runs towards the older.

 

Mark's a bit confused, he looks behind him to see if Renjun, or anyone that could be Donghyuck’s friend (which could literally be _anyone_ ) is here, but there's no one except the other parents as the kids already left to the bus.

 

Mark doesn't have the time to turn back to Donghyuck that he feels two hands grabbing his own and sees an excited boy giggling in front of his eyes. "It's been a long time !"

 

Mark frowns as he feels Donghyuck's hands shake in his. He looks at his eyes expectantly staring at him and notices his clenched jaw.

 

He doesn't have time to ask what's up with him (not that he would) that he sees Jeno jumping from the car and pushing Donghyuck out of the way, "Hey, leave my best friend alone !" He says with playful eyes.

 

Mark laughs as Jeno hugs him and Donghyuck pouts, "Not my fault Renjun’s not here. I thought he would wait for me." He mutters while looking at the ground. Then, in a matter of seconds his sad face is gone and he's running towards the bus after catching a glimpse of his friend, screaming Renjun’s name and laughing.

Jeno laughs too before following his cousin. Mark's still a bit unsure about what just happened but he only shrugs and follows his best friend.

 

From the first days, Mark notices Donghyuck's different. He has the same eyes, the same smile, he laughs the same loud, ear-piercing laugh, he's as talkative as before and cracks the same jokes but something has changed and Mark can't help but feel wary about it. Just like last year, Mark and Jeno end up spending some time with Donghyuck along with Renjun, but unlike last year, Donghyuck's actually talking to Mark. And it's nothing like their previous conversations. Sure, Donghyuck still picks on him, he tells him he's boring when Mark doesn't take part in the games he just invented, or that he's dumb when he doesn't do something the correct way right off the bat but when it happens, he also immediatly adds he's joking upon meeting Mark's eyes or quickly changes the subject with an awkward laugh. Mark doesn't see what's happening up there, in Donghyuck's little head, but he's sure there's a lot going on.

 

More than the jokes that Mark always had to endure, Donghyuck's also willingly having conversations with him. He asks him questions, about what he likes to eat or watch on TV when the topic erupts, instead of ignoring him. Sometimes, he just sits down with him and spends a few minutes with him rather than going with his other friends, which is honestly weirding Mark out. He's not used to the younger boy paying him this much attention for anything other than making fun of him, Donghyuck befriending him was among the things he least expected, especially after their last talk.

 

About that, Mark's almost to the point where he thinks it may have been just a dream. Since it happened, he hasn't talked to it about anyone, needless to say he hasn't even thought of discussing it with Donghyuck. He hasn't even told Jeno about it, even though he desperatly wanted to but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was able to keep it to himself for the year they were apart but now that Jeno's here, always ready to listen to him, it's just really tempting. But everytime Mark opens his mouth, Donghyuck's red eyes and sharp tongue pop into his mind and he gives up.

 

Actually, it was the first time Mark saw someone really cry. He's seen kids at school cry when they fall and hurt their knees, he's seen people on TV crying in movies, he's seen himself cry for stupid reasons. But Donghyuck's tears felt very different from the ones Mark had ever seen. Donghyuck was not crying because he fell, he was not crying because he was refused a candy. These tears could be resolved quickly with a band-aid and a cookie. Mark certainely didn't know why Donghyuck was crying, despite turning it in his head over and over again, but he was pretty sure it wasn't due to one of these foolish reasons. The younger's tears seemed very raw and seeing them come from Donghyuck was a heartbreak in itself. Mark had never seen anyone cry that way before and he really hopes it was the last time because he found something he hated more than Donghyuck : feeling useless.

 

 

On the third day of the second week, it's raining. It's not raining hard, but it's enough to keep the kids from going outside so they're all packed inside the dorms for the whole day. Because of the clouds, it's very dark and Mark never realized the weather had such an impact on his mood before. That day, he's feeling weirdly down for no apparent reason and he thinks about just sleeping the day away, but he decides it'd be a waste, so he gets up from his bed (too fast, he freezes for a second waiting for his head to stop spinning) and heads to the common room.

 

He's not expecting anything, so he's happy just seeing Renjun sitting in a corner. He walks to him and when he gets close enough, he notices a few girls sitting in front of him. Mark tilts his head, surprised. Renjun isn't exactly the type to talk to people by himself, let alone girls so Mark wonders what they're doing. He recognizes Hana sitting right in front of Renjun.

 

Mark crouches down next to Renjun and gaze at Renjun's hands. He's holding Hana's right hand in his left while applying some strange paint to her hands.

 

"What are you doing ?"

 

Renjun startles at that and almost paints Hana's whole index finger with the bright pink color.

 

"Oh my god Mark, don't do that !" He says, his hand clenching Hana's, ignoring her complaint.

 

"So ?" Mark asks again, looking at Hana's nails curiously.

 

"Hana brought nail polish so I'm painting her nails." Renjun answers while getting back to his work. Mark watches as the younger boy applies the pink paint very carefully on her nails, never going over the edges. He stays silent while Renjun blows on the pink layer softly before grabbing another tiny bottle. He opens it and starts drawing little purple circles above the pink. Mark watches in awe and almost doesn't notice Donghyuck coming over to them and sitting down next to him, unusually silent.

 

When Renjun's done, he turns to Mark. "Want me to do yours ?"

 

Mark looks at his own nails, short from all the biting and thinks about how they could be as pretty as Hana's so he nods. Donghyuck glances at him.

 

Renjun doesn't ask him what color he wants but Mark's okay with that, he trusts Renjun's taste more than his anyway.

 

Mark has a hard time staying still but he stops moving after Renjun threatens him to paint his face if he doesn't. Hana's prohibition to do so doesn't reassure Mark, persuaded Renjun would do it with or without permission.

 

Mark sees his nails go from beige to purple (Hana only brought pink and purple) and he quite likes it. Renjun blows over it gently. "Done."

 

Mark raises his hand in front of his face and looks at it carefully. "It's pretty." He says, impressed.

 

Hana puts her palm on Mark's and laughs. "Look, we're twins !"

 

Renjun snorts. "You have more pink than purple on your nails, Hana."

 

Hana sticks her tongue out to Renjun as she intertwines her fingers with Mark. Mark looks at their hands for a split second before turning his attention back to Renjun, now asking Donghyuck if he wants nail polish too.

 

Donghyuck raises his gaze from Mark and Hana's hands and smiles at Renjun. "Draw pretty things on mine !"

 

 

Later in the afternoon, Mark's sitting by himself on a couch when Donghyuck plops down next to him, looking over Mark's shoulder to see what he's reading. He notices it's a book about historical figures and pouts, saying he's not interested.

 

They're silent for a while, Mark's reading his book and Donghyuck's just sitting there, looking at the people walking in and out of the room.

 

"Do you like Hana ?"

 

Mark looks up from his book and turns his head to Donghyuck who's looking at his hands now. Mark notices the nail polish is already a bit chipped.

 

"Yeah, she's nice." Mark answers, going back to his reading.

 

"So you like her ? " He pauses. "I mean, more than as a friend."

 

"What ?" Mark frowns before laughing. "No, what are you talking about ?"

 

"I saw you holding hands a moment ago !" Donghyuck retorts as if it was a good argument, straightening his back.

 

"So what ?" Mark laughs again. "I hold hands with Jeno all the time, it doesn't mean I like him like that !  You also hold hands with Renjun nearly every second you're together."

 

Donghyuck stops at that, he looks like he's thinking about Mark's words. "Right." He scratches his head. "Life's weird." He leans back on the couch. "I thought it'd be different since she's a girl."

 

 _You're weird._ Mark doesn't say it because Donghyuck looks like he's thinking of a thousand things at the same time but, when is he not ? "Why would it be ?"

 

Donghyuck shrugs, looking at the ceiling, a very focused look on his face.

 

"Hana's nice, though."

 

"She is." Mark turns a page of his book and they're silent again.

 

 

"Why does Donghyuck act like he wants to be my friend now ?"

 

Mark asks this as he's alone with Jeno in their room. Mark's laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling while fanning himself. It's a very hot afternoon so neither Mark or Jeno wanted to play outside under this sun which is why they chose to stay inside. Renjun actually hesitated for a bit but gave up seeing Donghyuck making puppy eyes as he begged him to come play with him. He sighed while saying something about how Donghyuck had plenty of friends anyway but his voice was covered by Donghyuck's happy yell.

 

Jeno glances at Mark before looking through the window to see Donghyuck playing football. He's laying on his stomach, a book in front of him and he keeps losing his page since he has to let go of the book every two minutes to either scratch his head or drink water. Jeno rests his head on his shoulder to look at Mark and frowns slightly. "What do you mean?"

 

"You know, he's like talking to me and joking _with_ me instead of making jokes _about_ me."

 

"Yes, that's what people usually do, Mark." Jeno chuckles. He raises his hand to rub his eyes and his book closes again.

 

"That's exactly what I'm saying." Mark answers.

 

Jeno's still smiling as he goes back to his previous position and opens his book again, finding his page strangely fast. "I think he always wanted to be your friend."

 

Mark was about to add something else but it's clear Jeno's not going to say anything else about it so he just drops the subject.

 

 

On the first day of the third week, Mark's walking around the campsite looking for Jeno when he sees Donghyuck, unusually not playing football but near the benches, his back turned to Mark. He's about to walk by him but then he thinks that maybe he knows where Jeno went so he starts walking towards him and as he was about to call out his name, he notices two girls he doesn't know the name of facing Donghyuck and talking to him. Mark truly doesn't mean to spy on them, he doesn't even know if there's something to spy on, thinking they're just Donghyuck’s friends, as he has so many of them.

 

But when he gets closer, he sees the girls, arms-crossed, glaring at Donghyuck.

 

"You’re just really rude Donghyuck." The girl's voice is high and contemptuous, she's glaring at Donghyuck with disgusted eyes, as if he was the dirtiest thing she has ever laid eyes on. "I don’t get why everyone likes you, your eyes look cold and you say mean things, how can Jeno be your cousin ? He's so nice, unlike you. Can't you be a bit more like him?"

 

Donghyuck doesn't answer and the two girls leave while muttering things that Mark can't hear. He can't see Donghyuck’s face either as he's still not facing him.

 

Mark feels weird hearing these things. He has always seen Donghyuck as the boy everyone loves, the funny kid that everyone wish they could befriend. That's what Donghyuck always seemed to be. Everywhere he goes, he has at least two friends with him (two because Renjun's always there), whenever he wants to play a game, everyone agrees to it. Donghyuck's funny and smart, and he can do a lot of things from football to singing. Mark would have never thought there were people who actually disliked Donghyuck.

 

The worst thing is that Mark could actually recognize himself in the girl. She voiced his every thought so bitterly, so roughly and Mark actually wanted to throw up hearing her, but she said everything Mark thought about Donghyuck. He feels weird suddenly, something between embarassment and anger as he thinks of Donghyuck's nice smile, of his happy laugh, of how tight he hugs Jeno, of him calling Mark's name while laughing. He still thinks Donghyuck's hurtful sometimes but as he recalls the times he avoided Mark's eyes for hours after saying something offensive to him, of the times he asked him "You know I'm joking, right ?", Mark thinks that, maybe, he didn't do it on purpose.

 

Maybe Mark doesn't hate Donghyuck that much anymore, but he doesn't know when it happened.

 

He thinks about leaving before the younger sees him but then, Donghyuck turns around and Mark’s heart does something that reminds him of that one night a year ago.

Donghyuck's eyes meet Mark’s and he understands quickly that he assisted to the whole scene. Mark doesn't know what he expected but that was certainly not Donghyuck bursting into laughter and bumping their shoulders together.

 

Mark doesn't notice Donghyuck biting the inside of his mouth.

 

"Hey, following me ?" he says while giggling into Mark’s ear.

 

What Mark still manages to catch are the younger’s tearful eyes and shaking hands.

 

And he's about to leave it at that, really. To just laugh along (it would be an awkward laugh, sure but when isn't Mark awkward?), and ask where Jeno is.

 

But Mark doesn't think much before talking, he never does. Instead, he thinks of Donghyuck's smile and laugh and Jeno’s words resonate in his head.

 

_"He always wanted to be your friend."_

 

And for some reason, he feels really mad some girls' words seemed like they were getting to Donghyuck's head like that.

 

So Mark talks.

 

"I don’t think you’re mean. Well, I’m not going to lie to you, I did use to think you were, but not anymore," He starts, stumbling over his words, "I think these girls just don’t know you, I mean, I’m sure if they did, they would really like you, because you’re cool, and nice and people change, but even if you were a bit rude to me before, I’m sure you didn’t mean it so yeah these girls are dumb, you’re not mean Donghyuck." If Mark doesn't think much before speaking, he sure does a lot when he's speaking. He can't stop the words from flowing out of his mouth and he can feel his face heating up but he's just so mad at these girls and he really, really wants Donghyuck to know he's not a bad person.

 

Donghyuck’s giggle makes him stop talking and when Mark looks at him, he sees another smile of Donghyuck. It's certainly not the one he saw a year ago, but it's not the usual one either. It's much softer , more sereine, and it feels like laying on the beach at the end of the afternoon waiting for his mom to come out of the water or taking a hot shower in february when he's freezing and snow's melting in his shoes, making his socks wet and Mark didn't know Donghyuck could smile like that.

 

"Thank you, Mark." he says and it’s the most quiet Mark has ever heard him.

 

 

After that Mark and Donghyuck spends much more time together to Jeno and Renjun’s surprise. Mark doesn't know how or when exactly it happens, it just does. The day after Mark tried the best he could to comfort Donghyuck, without thinking, he sits down next to the younger during breakfast and asks him back all the questions Donghyuck asked him the past weeks. Donghyuck doesn't seem to be confused by it and acts as if they've always been friends. At first, Jeno and Renjun don't really notice, they're used to Donghyuck's antics but as time passes, Mark and Donghyuck spend more and more time together, to the point Jeno asks the two about it but Mark simply giggles and Donghyuck smiles widly.

 

"Mark finally realised how cool I am!"

 

That’s how Donghyuck always answers.

 

 

Donghyuck is just a ball of energy which can be a bit too much for Mark to handle sometimes but he likes it that way. Too busy with despising Donghyuck, Mark had never realized what kind of person the younger really was. He learns a lot about him in the span of two weeks, from his favorite food to his habit to always wear red socks on thursdays. Mark doesn't really understand Donghyuck sometimes, but that makes him even more fascinating. Two days before the last day of camp, Donghyuck sits down next to Mark around the campfire, complaining about how Renjun ditched him to grab something from their room. They're the only two sitting on the bench, and Donghyuck's making it move slightly by swinging his legs in the air.

 

"Want me to tell you a secret ?"

 

Mark turns his head to Donghyuck and sees his usual mischievious smile. The light from the fire's making his eyes shine. "Sure."

 

Donghyuck leans towards him and brings his mouth to Mark's ear. He looks around them to make sure no one's looking at them and puts his hand in such a way that it hides his mouth.

 

"Look up."

 

Mark frowns but follows what his friend says anyway. When he looks up, he sees nothing but the usual sky with its usual moon and its usual stars. He was about to ask Donghyuck what he wanted him to see but Donghyuck's arm came into in his vision, his index finger pointed to the sky.

 

"See those stars that form a pan ? That's Ursula Minor, my favorite constellation !" Donghyuck whispers. Mark glances at him and Donghyuck's wide smile is almost brighter than the moon, the stars and the fire all at once. "Well, it's the only one I know for now but shh," He brings his finger to his lips, still smiling. "You can't tell anyone, promise ?"

 

Mark grabs Donghyuck's hand without thinking and intertwines his pinky finger with Donghyuck's. "Promise."

 

And just like that, Mark, Donghyuck, Jeno and Renjun form their little group of friends.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 like = 1 boop on hyuck's nose


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's really bad but honestly i just wanted to get rid of it at this point ugh,, i hope you won't be too disappointed :(  
> also, this was the last chapter i had all "written out" (?) so maybe updates will be less frequent from now or maybe not because all the support i'm getting is really motivating me to write :0  
> anyway!! i hope u still liked it and i guess the "childhood" part is kinda done now?? idk how i'm gonna write the rest but pls wait for it!!
> 
> (im thinking of making an eng stan twitter acc so if i do make one i hope we can be mutuals!!)

When Mark's 13, just like every year, he goes to summer camp.

 

He has now grown a bit taller and he's not as skinny as before but acne also started to appear on his face and the feeling is quite disturbing. He saw Jaehyun get it before, and touched his own face, hoping he would'nt have to go through it as well. Of course, puberty doesn't make any exception so when Mark woke up one day and looked at himself in the mirror, the pimple on his chin didn't really surprise him. He doesn't feel comfortable at all though, and whenever he gets too conscious of himself, he raises his hands to his face and hide it with his sleeves.

 

The biggest change to Mark’s life though, is not his acne or anything about his appearance. Now that he's in middle school, he thought that it was the perfect occasion to try and be more outgoing which is why on the first day of school, he does his best to keep a smile on his face even though he feels like everyone is looking at him weirdly. It seems like the smile alone isn't enough, because by the time lunch comes, he still hasn't talked to anyone despite his classmates having already started getting to know each other. His stray in his hands, he looks around the cafetaria while biting his lips without really knowing what he's looking for. He can't just stand there, so he begins to walk slowly, and with every step he takes, he feels his heart sink deeper in his chest, already sensing he's going to eat by himself that day too. His eyes scan the room nervously, and as he's about to give up and just take the nearest available seat, he catches a glimpse of another boy sitting alone near the windows. His grip on the stray tightens and he takes a deep breath.

 

_You can do this, Mark._

 

Before he can convice himself otherwise, he fastens his pace until he's standing in front of the boy who slowly raises his head when he notices Mark staring at him.

 

"Hey !" Mark's legs are shaky and his smile unsure as he speaks. He hopes the boy doesn't notice.

 

"Hey ?"

 

Upon hearing the boy's confused voice and seeing his frown, Mark's confidence drops a bit and he prays the boy wasn't alone just because he was waiting for someone to come, but he gets a grip of himself and clears his throat, still smiling.

 

"Can I sit with you ?"

 

The boy's face lights up and he nods happily. "Yes, of course !" His eyes are big and brown and remind Mark of a puppy's.

 

Mark giggles and sits down as he listens to the other boy talk. "I was scared you were going to steal my money or something." He laughs.

 

Mark's eyes widen. "What  ? People actually do that ?"

 

The boy blinks at Mark before exploding into laughter.

 

Mark learns to know the boy during this lunch. It turns out he talks a lot so Mark basically knows almost everything about his life by the end of the period. His name's Yukhei and he says his words are quite sloppy because he came from China two years ago only, but Mark reassures him saying he probably wouldn't be that good at Chinese if it were the other way around, which makes the boy smile. Yukhei's in the class next to Mark's, he has a dog named Gao because it means dog in Chinese and that's the only thing that came to his mind when his parents asked him what he wanted to name it, and he says he would actually like school if they didn't have so many homework to which Mark kind of agrees. Yukhei's quite loud and he's also really funny so Mark wonders why he's eating by himself. When he asks, Yukhei tells him he was actually supposed to eat with someone but he had to stay behind in class for administrative issues so he was left alone at last minute.

 

Mark talks about himself a bit too. Yukhei sure talks a lot, but he's also really curious and looks actually interested in what Mark's saying. Mark struggles a bit to talk though, not really sure about what he should say since he doesn't considers his life to be the most thrilling. However, it's obvious that, to Yukhei, even the smallest thing can be a topic of conversation. When Mark hesitantly tells him about the one dance class he attented when he was 9, Yukhei asks him about what kind of dance it was, who he went with, how long it was and if he would do it again and just like that, time passes.

 

Mark talks about his mom a bit, how he spends a lot of time with her (used to at least) and how she would absolutely love Yukhei. He tells him about the time she confused Mark's bag and hers because she was very tired and had to run to the school in order to not get Mark's punished because he didn't have his stuff and get back her computer. Yukhei is sure he would absolutely love Mark's mom too. Mark talks about Jaehyung and Sicheng too, whom he sees at least once a week because their parents are very close.

 

And of course, he talks about Jeno, about Donghyuck and Renjun. Suddenly, Mark has a lot more things to say, he's speaking excitedly about the first time he met Jeno, how he didn't like Donghyuck at first and how similar he is to Renjun. He goes on and on, about Donghyuck's nice singing voice, Renjun's sarcastic jokes and Jeno's warmth. He even talks about the few times they fought, for stupid reasons everytime and about how childish they were being. He tells Yukhei about how they made up after only a few hours often, but he doesn't talk about Donghyuck crying.

 

Yukhei looks at him with a fond smile on his face as he listens attentively to Mark's stories, asking questions from time to time. "You must really love them."

 

Mark never really thought about it, but now that Yukhei voices it that way, he can't do anything but agree.

 

 

Mark meets the "someone" Yukhei was talking about eventually, not even twenty minutes later when the two boys are walking together to their classroom. Yukhei was telling him a story that happened to him when he was still in China when he catches a sight of a slightly taller boy who just got out of Mark's classroom.

 

"Jungwoo !" He yells before running to him without forgetting to grab Mark's wrist along the way. Mark gasps, still not used to Yukhei's energetic personnality.

 

When they're in front of him, Mark recognizes him as the smiley boy sitting behind him. He has a voice so soft and quiet that Mark barely heard him when he answered one of the teacher's questions and almost jumped in his seat upon hearing his laugh, much louder than his speaking voice. At first time, Mark thought that maybe the boy was just as shy as him and he could try to befriend him, but he turned out to be very approachable so he easily talked to people and got friendly with a lot of his classmates even before first period ended. Mark gave up on trying to talk to him.

 

Jungwoo meets his eyes and tilts his head. "Oh ?" He says as he seems like he has recognized him too.

 

Yukhei looks at Jungwoo, then at Mark and back at Jungwoo. "You two know each other ?"

 

"We're classmates actually." Mark says.

 

"What ? Why are my two friends in the same class without me, it's unfair." Yukhei pouts and Mark kind of blushes at the word "friends", trying to hide his smile.

 

Then, the bell rings and Jungwoo says "Let's go Mark !". Mark's surprised he even remembers his name so he just nods and follows him, waving bye at Yukhei.

 

(After that encounter, Jungwoo taps his shoulder multiple times, to borrow his ruler, to ask questions about the lesson or just to chat with the younger which makes Mark feel really warm inside. He's never had friends at school and he feels like he's finally experiencing the things he was always yearning for, even if they're as simple as lending a pen or telling the date of the day to someone.

Yukhei comes by their classroom during every break to spend time with them, even though he made some friends in his class.)

 

After a few months of hanging almost everyday with Yukhei and Jungwoo, Mark can see himself change. It happens slowly, but Mark begins to stop thinking before talking, he starts making jokes too and learns to say "No" sometimes, and above all, he laughs a lot more.

 

(Everytime he laughs out loud, he thinks of what Donghyuck told him when he was 11.

 

"How come I never heard your laugh ? I mean, you smile, you giggle sometimes but I’ve never heard you laugh loudly." He paused, probably thinking of a joke to make, "Am I not funny enough ?" He asked while clenching his shirt.

 

"Your heart is the other side, idiot," Mark simply answered while shrugging it off.

 

He did think of it though. It’s true he never really laughed out loud but he was just scared he would be too noisy or people would find him annoying. Donghyuck was never scared, he always laughed the loudest even when the joke he just heard wasn’t _that_ funny. But he did anyway. He got some glares, people whispering things when he was being a bit too loud but Donghyuck didn’t care, he hadn't ever looked like he cared at all.

 

Truth be told, hearing Donghyuck laugh that way makes Mark happy, so he thought maybe he could make him happy by laughing without restraining himself too.)

 

 

Mark's mom watches her son get brighter and brighter as times passes. The first day of school, when Mark got home, instead of greeting his mom and going straight to his room like he would usually do, he actually sat on the side of her bed where she was laying and started talking happily about the two friends he made at school. As he was speaking about how Jungwoo was amazing at physics, his mom smiled softly and when he finished his sentence, she took his hand in her own but Mark could barely feel her grasp.

 

"You should invite them over sometime, sweetie."

 

Mark blushed slightly and turned his head to the side so his mother wouldn't see him biting the inside of his cheeks. "I don't know..." He was about to keep going, about how he wasn't even sure they liked him, how he's known them for a day only but he saw his mom's tired face and her eyes trying not to close so he just smiled and squeezed her hand before wishing her a good night.

 

(Jungwoo and Yukhei do end up dropping by his house every weekend, if they're not the ones who have invited him over in the first place. The first times, Mark felt kind of awkward since it was his first time going to his friends' houses but he quickly grew confortable as it wasn't a hard thing to do around the two boys. Yukhei lives in a small appartment with his parents, his grandmother and his younger brother but Mark finds it as nice as Jungwoo's huge house in which he lives with his father and his older sister. Both of their houses are decorated very nicely in their own way and they feel just like home. Mark was very nervous when his two friends came over for the time, afraid they wouldn't like his house or think it was old-fashioned but everytime they ran across a baby picture of Mark, they would stop to gush about it and take a photo of it. Mark's mom insisted on meeting them the first time, so they talked for a while and she told them to have fun before going back to her room. The other times, if she was out or sleeping, Yukhei and Jungwoo told Mark to tell her they said hi.)

 

Now, when Mark gets home from school, not only does he sit at his desk to write a letter to Jeno, he also either calls or texts his two new friends and his mom thinks she's as happy as she can be when she hears drops of their conversations from her room and Mark can't remember the last time he felt lonely.

 

 

 

When Mark arrives to the usual meeting place, his mother leaves quickly after hugging him so he's alone. She has felt "a lot better" the past few days accoridng to her, so she insisted on driving Mark despite him refusing multiple times, saying he could take the bus for once. However, the moment they arrived, she got a text that made her become even paler than she already was, so she stroke Mark's cheek slowly and told him she had an urgency at work. Mark doesn't even have the time to tell her that she works at home now, that she's gone.

 

He looks around to find any of his friends (he would never have thought he would talk about his _friends_ as in more than one, but here he is), but he can't see any familiar faces besides some of the kids he met the years before. Some of them come up to Mark to greet him with a smile, but most of them just walk past him, ignoring him. He doesn't really care but he can't help thinking they would have said hi if he was with Donghyuck or Jeno.

 

Mark waits for a bit before he hears someone yelling his name. A smile creeps on his face before he even looks behind his shoulder but when he does, he doesn't see one person, but two racing towards him. Mark doesn't even have the time to process what's happening that his two friends bump into him and Mark almost falls to the ground.

 

He's about to whine but when he turns around and sees Jeno and Donghyuck’s smiling faces, he just breaks into laughter with them.

 

They're still laughing when Jeno sees Renjun walking by them, his earphones plugged in and about to enter the bus before Jeno grabs his wrist.

 

"Renjun !"

 

Renjun looks behind his shoulder and smiles warmly when he recognises his friend. "Hi Jeno."

 

Hearing his best friend’s name catches Donghyuck’s attention and he turns to Renjun with an unnecessarily dramatic face.

 

"Renjun..." He fakes a sob. "My friend, I missed you so much..." He says, pretending to cry.

 

"We saw each other two days ago Hyuck." Renjun sighs while rubbing his temples, "It's only 7am and you're already annoying me."

 

"And it’s only the first day." Mark adds.

 

"Don’t remind me." He hears Renjun mumble, his words muffled into Donghyuck’s tight hug and loud laugh.

 

Mark can still see Renjun’s smile when he hugs Donghyuck back.

 

At this moment, Jeno takes his hand and looks at him with a smile that makes his eyes disappear and his cheekbones become round, "I missed you too."

 

Mark smiles back, before looking down, a bit embarrassed, "Me too."

 

Mark has felt a lot like that these days, and he doesn't really know why. He's been avoiding Yukhei's hugs and has a hard time keeping eye-contact with Jungwoo when they're talking. He doesn't get what's happening, because he used to do all this with Jeno all the time and it never bothered him. They held hands, told each other "I love you", hugged and kissed the other's cheek sometimes and it was always natural, Mark never thought about it. However, as time went by, he found himself rejecting the physical affection he was given without thinking as well. It wasn't like he disliked it particularly, he used to love hugs and feeling loved but now, he just felt really embarassed. His ears went red and he started laughing nervously everytime one of his friends tried to touch him. Jungwoo had noticed, of course, and seemed to really enjoy teasing Mark about it. There was a time when Jungwoo asked him jokingly if he liked him since he always blushed at the slightest touch and Mark never felt more flustered in his whole life. He quickly shook his head, firmly denying while Yukhei laughed about how Mark probably didn't even know what love was.

 

For the next few days, Mark seriously thought about it, thinking his possible feelings for Jungwoo would explain his behaviour but when he pictured himself with the older, he immediatly crossed out this possibility, feeling shivers down his spine.

 

He also thought he acted the same way with Yukhei and he sure wasn't in love with him either and now that he is here, with Jeno holding his hand, he's more confused than ever.

 

 

The second they arrive at the campsite, the four friends immediatly run to the dorms along with the other kids.

They take the room the farthest down the hall, as they have done for three years now. It's always the same : Renjun’s bed is the one the closest to the door (so he can escape faster if there is a fire, he said), then there's Donghyuck’s, Mark’s and finally Jeno’s bed right under the window.

Every year, they have to share the room with two other random boys and, even if their friendship only lasted for the summer, they always befriended them. They're all already sitting on their respective beds, organizing their clothes (well, Mark's organizing his  ; Donghyuck tried for the first few minutes then gave up and laid on his bed, Jeno says it's useless to take out his clothes from his suitcase when they're only here for a few weeks and will probably regret it a week later like every year, and Renjun's playing games on his phone, too lazy to unpack now), when they hear a shy knock on the door they could have almost missed as there's almost a hundred of kids running around and being loud in the dorms.

 

They all looked at each other for a few seconds before Mark sighed and walked to the door, even though he was the only actually doing something. He opened the door and looked behind his shoulder to tell his three friends they're too much, but he stops when he notices their curious faces. Mark turns back to the door and his gaze lowers to a small boy standing in front of him.

 

"Hey," The boy stutters. He clears his throat and starts again, "Hey, I saw there are only four names written on your door so I was wondering if maybe my friend and I could room with you ?" As he speaks, the boy's eyes wander across the room, he looks at the wall, at the three pairs of eyes staring at him from behind Mark, at the ground, at Mark and back at the ground. He looks at Mark's eyes once and immediatly looks away after a split second. From the moment Mark opened the door, the boy hasn't ceased playing with his hands.

 

Mark turns slightly to his friends to check if they're okay with the boy's suggestion and isn't surprised to see Jeno already smiling warmly at the newcomer. Donghyuck nods happily and now they're all staring at Renjun.

 

"What ? Sure they can." Renjun shrugs with a quite amused smile.

 

The boy lets out a sigh of relief and before he can say anything, Donghyuck gets up and walks up to him before sticking his head out the corridor. "So where's you friend ?"

 

Jisung chuckles and turns his head to the side while getting on his tiptoes. When he catches a sight of who he's looking for, his face seems to relax as a bright smile makes way to his face.

 

"Chenle !"

 

An even smaller boy than him turns his head when he hears his name and runs to the room when he sees who called. "You found a room ?" He asks eagerly.

 

The other boy nods with the same excitement and Mark tells them to come in. As they step into the room, the one who knocked seems to remember something as he stops in his tracks. "Oh by the way, I'm Jisung !"

 

"And I'm Chenle !" Chenle says while giggling. There's nothing funny and Chenle has been here for less than five minutes but he's been laughing and smiling non stop. It makes Mark want to smile too.

 

"Yeah, we kind of heard Jisung yell your name." Donghyuck answers with a small laugh. "I'm Donghyuck, Mark's the one who opened the door, there's my cousin Jeno here and Renjun over there." He ends as he points to the boys.

 

"Renjun ?" Chenle chirps. Renjun raises a brow. "You're Chinese ?  »"

 

"Yes, I've been in Korea for a while now, though."

 

Chenle claps his hands together before running to Renjun's bed to sit besides him and starts to talk very fast in Chinese. For the first few seconds, Renjun looks very confused but his frown quickly disappears as he breaks into a smile and starts answering Chenle with the same eagerness.

 

"I have no idea what they're talking about but it looks fun." Donghyuck pouts. He turns to Jisung and proceeds to ask him tons of questions as well.

 

Mark feels like he's watching the exact same scene in two different languages. He looks at Jeno and they both chuckle at their friends' antics.

 

 

"I kissed someone."

 

Everyone drops what they were previously doing.

 

They're on their beds (Donghyuck's on the floor), chatting about what they did the year they were away from each other while reading comics or playing games on their phone while Chenle and Jisung are in the common room playing games with the younger kids.

 

But _this_ , isn't what they expected to hear.

 

Especially from Renjun.

 

The said boy is on his bed, reading a comic calmly as if what he just said wasn’t the biggest news ever. (It isn't, but it's the biggest thing that has ever happened to one of them so they have every right to be surprised).

 

When Renjun realises that no one is answering, he looks up from his comic and laughs at his friends’ faces.

 

"What ? It’s not that big of a deal." he chuckles.

 

"Well, I just didn’t expect you to be the first one among us." Donghyuck teases him to which Renjun scoffs before throwing his pillow at him.

 

"Who did you think it would be then ?"

 

"Me, of course !" Donghyuck answers as if it was the most obvious thing in the world which isn't at all. Mark thinks he has never seen the younger talk to a girl expect when they're playing games or even show the slightest interest in anything remotely romantic. Mark giggles.

 

Donghyuck lookes at him, offended. "You didn’t think it’d be you, right ?" he throws Renjun’s pillow at him.

 

Mark doesn't think that. To be honest, he doesn't even think about it at all. He actually never even considered relationships and love to be real things until a few months ago, when Jungwoo teased him about him. He thinks of Yukhei's words and kind of agrees with him, he doesn't even know what love is. He also doesn't have a lot of friends, so he doesn't really talk to girls.

 

"No, I didn’t think about it, but if I had to..." He starts before stopping mid-sentence, thinking hard. He looks at his three friends and tilts his head. "Jeno ?"

 

Jeno almost chokes, "Why me ?"

 

"I don’t know, you're good-looking I guess ?"

 

And it's true. Jeno can easily be pointed out as the prettiest of them all (not that Mark thinks Renjun or Donghyuck are ugly, far from that actually. Donghyuck and Renjun are really handsome in their own way, but Jeno's different, everyone agrees he's beautiful, Mark stopped counting the number of times he heard girls gush over him), but he thought Jeno knew that already, it's kind of a given fact, so he doesn't expect Jeno to blush and look away.

 

"Wait, wait, Renjun," Donghyuck straightens his back, "I've never even seen you with a girl, how is this possible ? We're together everyday."

 

"You know I went camping with my family two weeks ago  ? This girl there told me she liked me, we kissed and kind of dated for the time I was there, I guess ?" Renjun answers, laughing.

 

Donghyuck stays mouth agape. "And you didn't tell me !"

 

"I'm telling you, now." Renjun snorts.

 

"Why did you break up ?" Mark asks.

 

Renjun looks at Mark and something he thinks he has never seen in Renjun’s eyes or anyone’s takes over the pretty pupils of the younger. Renjun smiles a smile Mark has never seen either and for a second Renjun just looks so different and strange, like he's far, far away from this room and from the three other boys.

 

Mark thinks Renjun and Donghyuck are not that different after all.

 

"It was just a summer fling, I didn't really like her and she didn't either."

 

Mark lifts a brow up but neither Jeno nor Donghyuck seems to notice anything and they just continue asking playfully Renjun about the girl but Renjun shuts them off, giggling.

 

Renjun’s eyes don't meet Mark’s for the rest of the afternoon.

 

 

"Do you like someone ?"

 

Renjun is sitting on a bench while everyone's playing football under the night sky, as usual. It's always like that ; Jeno and Donghyuck run to the field with the others while Renjun and Mark watch them. Sometimes Mark joins their two friends, but Renjun never does.

 

Renjun looks up from his book to see Mark plopping next to him, looking at their friends who are already running around.

 

"Sorry ?" Renjun says, confused.

 

Mark looks at his friend and breaks into a smile. "I was just wondering."

 

Renjun breaks eye-contact with him to look at the ground, kicking some pebbles with his right foot. Mark knows he's onto something when he recognizes Renjun's flustered face he has sometimes, when he's being praised or when someone is being nice to him. Or when he's asked something he doesn't expect. "Got you !" Mark laughs, bumping his shoulder with Renjun's. "Come on, you can't lie to me."

 

Renjun is still not answering or looking at him so Mark speaks up again. "You know, you don't have to tell me but that's kind of what you're doing right now, not answering me." Renjun's face is so devoid of expression, Mark considers the possibility of being wrong, but Renjun's shaking eyes scanning the ground instead of looking at him like he would usually do, his hands tightly grapping the bench and his lack of answer when he's always so quick-witted are enough for Mark. He thinks he knows his friend well enough to assume that he's right.

 

Renjun's still silent so Mark sighs and shrugs. "It's okay." He smiles. "I'll believe you, you don't have to..."

 

"I do."

 

Mark looks at Renjun who's still staring at the ground, but it feels like something in his eyes has changed. His gaze is much softer, calmer and Mark wonders if he has ever seen Renjun looking like that, it's like he keeps discovering new sides of his friends everyday. Mark wonders who Renjun is thinking about.

 

 

The night goes on and not even an hour later, when it's 10 PM Donghyuck tells the friends he's playing with that he's tired and that he's going to sit for a bit. They whine a little but eventually let him go, too eager to start a new game.

 

It's weird, because Donghyuck usually never sits out, he always plays every single football game, not matter how exhausted he is. Mark thinks he has never seen anyone who loves football, or anything, this much and he's kind of envious of Donghyuck for having something as simple as a sport he's so passionated about.

 

So when Mark sees him from where he's standing next to the cage (he actually hesitated to participate but he doesn't like football that much, so he prefered staying with Jeno, who's the goalkeeper), he frowns slightly.

 

Donghyuck's sitting on the same bench Mark and Renjun were sitting on earlier and he's looking up at the night sky while swinging his legs. Mark notices his feet don't touch the ground and smiles to himself.

 

He decides to go and keep his friend company so he tells Jeno who just nods, too focused on the ball coming his way.

 

When Mark's close enough to Donghyuck, the latter lowers is head and lets his eyes meet Mark’s. Mark waves at him and Donghyuck waves back and they keep smiling at each other until Mark's next to Donghyuck and sits on the bench too.

 

They don't talk for a while, Donghyuck looking at the sky again, and Mark looking at his feet. It's silent but it's not awkward. For some reason, it's never awkward with Donghyuck. It's never really silent either, whenever Mark is with the younger, he has a thousand thoughts running through his mind and he knows Donghyuck's always thinking of a lot of things too.

 

"Look."

 

Mark turns his head to Donghyuck, who's pointing at something in the sky. So Mark looks up, but he sees nothing but the usual night sky. He also sees Ursa Minor now.

 

He doesn't say anything so Donghyuck goes on. "You see those stars ? Here, the ones that form an hourglass. It’s the constellation of Orion !"

 

When Mark glances at Donghyuck, he's already looking at him, a wide smile on his face. Mark doesn't really see what his friend is talking about at first, Donghyuck has to give him tons of indications before Mark actually sees the constellation. The hourglass is not really obvious, but it's pretty and it suits Donghyuck.

 

"I told you I'd learn other constellations right ? Chenle told me he had an astronomy book so I wanted to borrow it but he said he didn't bring it with him." Donghyuck pouts and kicks rocks on the ground with his foot. "Constellations are hard to recognize. But I'll learn them all and show them to you, so just wait a bit more !"

 

Mark chuckles before nodding at Donghyuck, who looks as bright as the stars he's pointing in the sky.

 

For some reason, Donghyuck's smile remains stuck in Mark's mind for the rest of the night.

 

 

Days after, Mark's walking around the campsite with Renjun under the burning sun. It's too hot to play football or anything and they're sick of staying in their room as they've been holed up inside almost the whole afternoon. Jeno seemed like he didn't really mind, napping in his bed and Donghyuck went off God knows where, as usual. Renjun suggested they took a walk so they've been walking around for at least an hour. Despite them trying to walk in the shade, Mark's starting to sweat under his shirt but he doesn't say anything as Renjun is telling him about something weird that happened to him the month before. Mark always listens attentively to Renjun's stories because even though he sometimes has a hard time believing them, the younger is very good at making them interesting. Renjun speaks in a very fascinating way, he always chooses his words carefully, every so often, he also uses words Mark doesn't even know or would have never thought of. But Renjun's never blabbering like Mark tends to, he always goes straight to the point while still keeping his story interesting which is why Mark loves listening to Renjun talk.

 

As they're walking by the football cages for the hundred time, Mark notices two boys running towards them and he has to squint his eyes before recognizing Chenle and Jisung. They stop right in front of them and interrupt Renjun. He doesn't say anything, he never does. Mark keeps in mind to ask him about the end of his story later.

 

"Is it true there's a treasure hidden here ?"

 

Mark tilts his head at Jisung's weird question. He looks at Renjun who seems to be as confused as him before looking back at the two friends, hopping from one foot to the other out of excitement. Mark's about to tell them he doesn't know what they're talking about but Renjun beats him to it. "Who told you that ?" He pretends to look around nervously before leaning in to whisper. "You weren't supposed to know about it."

 

Jisung jumps and grabs Renjun's wrist. "So it's true !"

 

Renjun's smirking and Mark chuckles at the scene taking place in front of his eyes. He hopes they'll leave him out of it though, because he's a terrible liar but of course, Chenle's clever.

 

"Is it, Mark ?"

 

Mark gulps at the question before awkwardly laughing. "Yeah, " His voice cracks. "Yeah, I guess."

 

Chenle stares at him for a second and upon seeing Mark avoid his eyes, he whines loudly. "I can't believe Donghyuck lied again !"

 

Jisung frowns. "What ? But Renjun just said..."

 

"He lied too! Don't be silly, look at Mark, it's obvious they're just teasing us !"

 

Jisung pouts and Renjun looks at Mark, disappointment evident in his eyes. "Really, Mark ?" Mark shurgs while laughing apologetically.

 

"You're the one who believed Donghyuck in the first place !" Jisung says, blaming Chenle.

 

«"How can you even think that Donghyuck would ever be serious about anything ?" Renjun snorts, clearly amused by the younger ones' innocence.

 

"Well, he gave us very good reasons to believe him !" Chenle defends himself but he doesn't elaborate on the reasons he's talking about. "He also said you've been attending camp for six years so I thought he was legit. Wait, did he lie about that too ?" He looks at Jisung, suspicious.

 

"No, that part's true." Mark says. He doesn't really realize it's already been six years, it's almots the half of his life and it's quite disconcerting.

 

"So that means you've known each other for six years ? That's such a long time !" Jisung intervenes, a shocked look on his face.

 

"Haven't you two known each other since forever though ?" Renjun lifts a brow.

 

"Me and Jisung ?" Chenle starts. Mark finds it funny how they take turns to speak, always letting the other talk when he wants to. "I've barely known him for a year."

 

"What?" Mark and Renjun say, almost in unison. This time, they're the ones looking at their friends in disbelief. Honestly, they have every right to be suprised. They've known them for a couple weeks only but Chenle and Jisung are almost joined at the hip, Mark doesn't think he has ever seen one without the other and they get along so well. Even though they're young, only ten and eleven years old, and friendship forms fast at this age (Mark knows it more than anyone else), it's hard to imagine they've only been friends for a few months. Even if Mark got very close to Jeno really quickly, he thinks it took him some time for them to be completely comfortable around each other and there are still some times he feels a bit awkward with Donghyuck or Renjun, no matter how close they are.

 

Chenle and Jisung laugh at their friends' shocked faces. "No need to be so surprised !" Jisung chuckles.

 

"You two are even scarier than I thought, go far away from me please." Renjun says jokingly.

 

"Whatever, we need to go scold Donghyuck anyway !" Chenle sticks his tongue out at Renjun and pulls Jisung's sleeve but the latter took offense and goes to hit Renjun on the arm. Renjun's faster and blocks his hand with his own just in time.

 

"Oh ?" Jisung tilts his head. "What is it on your nails ?"

 

"Nail polish." Renjun answers. Indeed, there's a dark, black color on Renjun's nails. Since the time he tried it for the time, he grew to like it and bought his own to do his nails himself. He didn't put it on all the time but he did it often and from time to time, he used Mark, Jeno or Donghyuck to test out new colors.

 

"The thing girls wear ?" Jisung asks, genuinely curious.

 

Renjun shrugs. "I guess."

 

"Renjun's so cool !" Chenle teases him, bumping his shoulder with his while laughing.

 

"I want to try it too next time !" Jisung yells at Renjun as Chenle drags him away impatiently.

 

In a second they're gone, leaving as quick as they came. Mark and Renjun remain still and quiet for a bit, for some reason they always feel exhausted after having something as simple as a conversion with the two younger boys.

 

"So, about this ghost ?"

 

 

Mark catches himself thinking about Donghyuck.

 

It's not unusual, he thinks of him from time to time, when he remembers a joke he told him, or when something reminds him of the younger, but when he wakes up in the morning and the first thing he thinks of is Donghyuck, Mark feels something isn't right. He turns his head to the right side and sees Donghyuck, still sleeping soundly. There's no reason he would pop into Mark's mind right now, at 9am. Mark's not even thinking about something particular that happened, he's just thinking about Donghyuck, the person, the boy sleeping in the bed next to him. Mark turns his head back to look at the ceiling. Maybe it's normal, he thinks, his mind has to think about something after all, so why couldn't this thing be Donghyuck ? If he lets his mind wander, he will probably think about other things, about Jeno, Renjun, Chenle and Jisung, his mom, the dog they saw on the other side of the fence behind the dorms. But it seems like the more he tries to think about something else, the more he thinks about Donghyuck. He thinks about his wide usual smile, about his shy smile, he also thinks about the time he used to hate him, when he saw him cry and he gulps at this thought. He thinks of his face under the stars. He can't think of anything else now and even if he closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep again to escape his thoughts, he keeps stealing glances at Donghyuck.

 

"What are you thinking about ?"

 

Mark startles at the sound of Jeno's voice, even if it's as low as a whisper. He shifts on his side to look at him properly and they're facing each other. "You scared me ! You were awake ?"

 

Jeno giggles. "Woke up not even five minutes ago." Chenle shifts in his bed, behind Jeno so he remains silent a few seconds, checking if he's still asleep. "So, what were you thinking about, staring at the ceiling ?"

 

Mark tells Jeno almost everything : even the most insignificant thing that ever crossed Mark's mind, Jeno knows about it. He's not afraid to sound dumb, to be unsure because Jeno never judges him, he puts him at ease like no one else does. However, right now, for some reason, Mark feels like maybe he shouldn't tell Jeno what he's thinking about. More like, _who_ he's thinking about. He's not sure as to why, because he himself doesn't know why he's thinking about him, and he still believes there's no particular reason, it's not unusual, he's just thinking of his friend, but something tells him that, just this one thing, he should keep it to himself.

 

"Nothing special."

 

Except Mark catches himself thinking about Donghyuck often after that.

 

 

"Truth or Dare ?"

 

Mark really didn't want to play this game but here he is, sitting in a corner of the common room with his friends and at least ten other kids he's more or less friends with. He tried to avoid it by saying there were more than enough people willing to play already, but Renjun forced him to sit down next to him, refusing to be left alone.

 

"You're not alone, there's Donghyuck, Jeno, Chenle, Jisung, everyone basically." Mark tried to get up but Renjun pulled him down.

 

"Are you even listening to yourself ?"

 

Mark looks at Donghyuck play fighting with Chenle and Jisung and Jeno watching them with a fond smile on his face and he nods, settling down, his back against the wall. "I understand."

 

As there were quite a lot of people playing, Mark managed to go unnoticed during the first half of the game, to his delight. At first, they were all quite shy, asking what their favorite food is or daring to do push-ups, but then Donghyuck dared Renjun to hold the hand of the girl on his right and from this moment, they all started asking things more and more private. Renjun gave his best friend a death stare but that that didn't stop him at all, answering with a pleased smile.

 

Mark's laying low, hoping no one will pick him. He knows he's safe with most of the kids, but everytime it's one of his friends' turn, he avoids their eyes, looking elsewhere.

 

"Mark !"

 

Of course, Chenle.

 

"Truth or Dare ?"

 

Mark sighs. He wants to say he's not playing anymore, but he knows none of his friends would let him off so he opts for the safest option. "Truth."

 

"Okay." Chenle seems to think for a moment, ignoring Jisung and Donghyuck's whispers in his ears. "Who do you think is the prettiest girl here ?"

 

Everyone makes "Ooh" sounds, excited to hear Mark's answer. He hears Renjun say "Good luck with that" from next to him, a smirk on his face.

 

"Come on, this is so childish." Mark mutters, hoping to get away with the question but Chenle urges him to answer and they're all looking at him expectandly. Mark feels his heart beat faster and faster in his chest, he's not liking the sudden attention he's given, his hands are starting to get sweaty and his face hot. Mark doesn't even bother to look at the girls or at anyone, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor as he answers. "I don't know, Hana."

 

The kids start yelling, already imagining things that Mark doesn't want to know. "Really ?" Renjun asks him, his voice almost muffled by the excited chatter.

 

"You know I had to answer, they wouldn't have left me alone otherwise." Mark shrugs. Hana  _is_ , in fact, pretty. She has a small face, big round eyes and long hair. She's also one of the nicest girl Mark ever met which is why he chose her, more than because of her looks. Personnality really has an impact on someone's appearance. He still looks at her, to see her reaction. She has her hands on her cheeks, seemingly pleased by the sudden compliment while her friends whisper things into her ears.

 

"You have to pick someone now, Mark !" Chenle tells him from his spot.

 

Mark was about to say the first name that crosses his mind, but he's cut off by a voice. "Wait, let's ask Mark again !" Mark turns his head to where the voice is coming from and sees one of Hana's friend, getting up on her knees.

 

"I don't think that's how the game works." Jeno says, but the girl ignores him, grabbing everyone's attention.

 

"Mark, I dare you to kiss Hana !"

 

"What ?" Mark says, incredulous. Hana's trying to get her friend to sit back down, asking her what she's doing and everyone else is either clapping or encouraging Mark to do the dare. Mark's heart just calmed down to its usual pace, but now it's back to beating far too fast to the point it hurts and he really wants to run away. Just when his ears are starting to ring, Renjun speaks up.

 

"Let's stop playing, this game's stupid anyway." He gets up, quickly followed by Donghyuck who, unusually, isn't talking at all. He walks to Renjun's side and displays a last grin before leaving abruptly with him.

 

"Well, that was fun, see you tomorrow !"

 

Mark doesn't have the time to ask what's wrong that Jeno moves closer to him and asks if he's okay. Mark nods with a smile, but Jeno's worried look doesn't go away. When they're about to leave to their room as well, Mark feels his sleeve being pulled so he turns around and sees Hana in front of him, her friend next to her.

 

"Mark, I'm so sorry for how my friend behaved, I should have stopped her. She's sorry too, right ?" She nudges her friend.

 

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

 

"I hope you're not mad ?" Hana looks truly apologetic, as well as her friend and Mark doesn't want them to feel bad or things to be awkward. Looking back at it, he thinks he may have overreacted a bit, so he smiles at them. "It's okay really, you did nothing wrong."

 

They both seem to be relieved and Hana pushes his shoulder playfully. "I'm glad then ! See you tomorrow !" And they walk off.

 

When Mark and Jeno get to their room, Donghyuck and Renjun are already there. Renjun stops talking once they come in which makes Mark lift a brow but Donghyuck's quick to make conversation. "Where are Chenle and Jisung ?"

 

The atmosphere is a bit tense for the next few minutes without Mark really knowing why. He expected his friends to make fun of him for what happened and he would have brushed it off but it seems like they're just avoiding the topic and now there's a big elephant in the room. Jeno tries to lighten the mood by sharing a conversation he had with one of the cooking ladies but their laughs are still awkward.

 

Then, Chenle and Jisung barge into the room, coins stuck on their foreheads. "You won't believe what we discovered !" Chenle yells, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

 

The four friends look at each other with confused faces before Jisung talks. "Did you know there was a magnetic spot on our foreheads ?"

 

There's a short silence, the contrast between the four older boys' uneasiness and the two younger boys' fascination, completely unaware of the awkward situation they just interrupted, being so big.

 

"You look stupid." Renjun finally says and Jisung goes to hit him on the shoulder. Renjun quickly errupts into laughter, followed by Jisung and everyone else. The scene is so improbable, with Renjun and Jisung still fighting, Chenle trying to stick a coin on Jeno's forehead and Donghyuck laughing at them that Mark can't stop laughing.

 

 

He's so, so glad he has friends like them.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comments they make me really happy <3  
> i hope you have a good day/night :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i absolutely HATE this chapter and i HATE myself because i know it's a very important one but i'm just ///sick/// of it so here it is!  
> there's a big chance that i'll edit it later or maybe (probably) not because i never want to read it again  
> anyway it's really messy but i hope you still enjoy it <33

When Mark is 15, he goes to camp just like every year.

 

When he thinks about it, there's no reason for them to go anymore. They all have phones now, they text all the time, call every week and skype all together when they're not to busy, which means at every free minute they get. Of course, Jeno, Donghyuck and Renjun all live in the same town and see each other almost everyday so it's only Mark who they have to call to catch up on things but the three younger boys like to call from their own houses and tell each other the important things when they're calling Mark only, so that the older doesn't feel too left out. Most of the times, they don't have anything special to talk about, they like talking about nothing, so they can feel like normal friends and not like they're miles from each other just for a few minutes.

 

Also, Mark can take the train or the bus to go visit Jeno, Donghyuck and Renjun in their little town in the south of the country. Mark, unfortunately, lives in the north and was heartbroken when Jeno told him he lived by the seaside and loved collecting seashells on the beach during the summer because he couldn't do that at his home, far, far away from Jeno's.

 

 

He has visited his friends, once. It was during spring break when Mark was 14, he managed to convince his mother to let him go by himself because « he was old enough to travel by himself ». He added that she knew his friends already and that they were trustworthy and she let him go. Mark was beyond excited during the whole train trip for a few reasons. First, it was his first time traveling by himself and he couldn't stop moving in his seat, looking by the window, texting his friends about every town he passed by, going back and forth between the different compartments of the train. It was also his first time traveling farther than to his grandmother's house, an hour's drive from his town only. He watched the sceneries pass by as he wondered how different the sea and sand would be from the things he saw on TV. But most of all, he was excited to see his friends, and in a different setting than summer camp for the first time. He wondered how were their houses like, how were their families like, how they dressed like and about a million other things. Mark was so excited and caught up in his thoughts he almost missed his stop.

 

The second he arrived there, the three younger boys ran towards him to hug him, talking all at once about how excited they were to show him around and all the things they had to do. Mark chuckled, trying to take in every information. The weather was about ten degrees hotter than in his town, the station was crowded with people coming in and out of the train and his friends were glowing in front of him, displaying wide, bright smiles. Donghyuck took his suitcase and Jeno his bag and they all left while Mark was trying to take off his sweatshirt, already dying from the heat. It had been decided Mark would sleep over at Jeno's house but on the way to his house, Jeno told him Donghyuck and Renjun wouldn't have let that happen, so they decided to bring their own mattresses and to put them in Jeno's bedroom.

 

The least one could say was that it was a bit cramped, Mark could barely open the door of Jeno's bedroom. There were Jeno's bed and desk that already took at least half of the room and the other three's mattresses squeezed against each other on the floor but Mark couldn't have been happier than this. Donghyuck and Renjun showed him their school and Mark asked about Jeno's but he just shrugged, saying it wasn't important. They showed him the park where they used to play when they were younger, the ice cream shop they go to every summer, the lake Donghyuck almost drowned in when he was five and even the local store that sells their favorite candies.

 

But, and that was what Mark expected the most, they took him to the beach and Mark thought it was even better that everything he had ever imagined. The sea was overwhelming, from the water to the seaweeds including the sand and the smell and just the happy feeling floating in the air, Mark felt amazing. Even the air was different there, and Mark was sure he would always assimilate the sea and this feeling to Jeno, Donghyuck and Renjun.

 

They did something different every day Mark was there and on the last night, when Jeno was almost laying on top of him (he didn't want to sleep in his own bed because he felt like he was being left out), Mark said they should also invite Chenle and Jisung the next time and they all agreed.

 

 

So Mark could do it again. It felt somewhat different hanging out with them outside of camp. They were the same boys he knows, they wore the same clothes he's seen thousands of times and made the same jokes but still, it felt different. They were more free, more comfortable and even if that sounds stupid, that's when Mark really realized they were kids just like him. They had always been seeing each other at camp, when their only worries were if the weather was going to be too hot to be playing football the next day again or what they were going to eat at dinner, but this time, Mark saw them talking with their mothers, he saw them annoyed at their homework, he heard them talking about people he had never heard the name of. That threw him off at first but then Mark realized they were tons of things he still didn't know about his friends, as insignificant as they were and that he had to discover. That made Mark want to invite his friends to his own town too.

 

 

When Mark really thinks about it, he realizes summer camp has just become a ritual for them. It's their way to make sure they see each other at least once a year, and for a whole month. Also, they've all made so many memories there, Mark doesn't think he's ready to just stop going. Somewhat, it would feel like leaving his childhood behind and he doesn't want to.

 

 

When he's in the bus to the meeting place, Mark can't stop moving in his seat. He's excited to see his friends again after a whole year, but his agitation is mostly due to the removal of his braces. He's had them since he was eleven and ever since, he's been counting the days until he would get them removed and this day finally came, four years later. It felt so good and his teeth were much straighter so he wanted to send a picture to his friends immediatly but then he thought he would just surprise them and didn't even tell them about it. He almost got caught a few times when they were skyping if he opened his mouth too wide to laugh or speak but they didn't seem to notice anything. Mark also started wearing contacts because he was getting sick of his glasses but he kind of grew to like his face with them. He still wears his glasses more often than not, when he's late or when he's too lazy to put contacts on, but he likes being able to see without having something on his nose.

 

If it wasn't for the sole fact that Jungwoo and Yukhei don't miss a single oportunity to tease him about it, Mark wouldn't really be aware he's changing physically. The day after he got rid of his braces, when Mark showed up to Jungwoo's house, his friends immediatly said he finally wasn't a kid anymore and it was even worse when he wore contacts for the first time, they wouldn't stop teasing him about how good he looked. Mark doesn't really see it, he thinks he's the same boy with the same face and just one or two things missing but it's true he's been getting told he's handsome more than before these past few months. Even Jaehyun and Sicheng who have known him ever since he was a little kid admitted thinking he only looked better and better as time went by. However, no matter how many times he thinks about it or looks at his reflection in the mirror, Mark doesn't see what others seem to be seeing and Jeno or the others haven't said anything about it, so Mark comes to the conclusion that people say that just to be nice.

 

He almost misses his stop, not used to taking the bus, and when he gets off, he's surprised to see his friends already here, obviously waiting for him. There are even Chenle and Jisung who are both always late. It feels weird, arriving last. Mark's used to be the first one here and to have to wait at least fifteen minutes for one of his friends to finally arrive. It may be the first time he sees all of his friends together, without him. He sees Donghyuck and Jisung fighting for a dumb reason probably and Renjun laughing at both of them, he sees Chenle crouching down and looking very carefully at a tiny flower and he sees Jeno glancing around while frowning. Mark knows he's looking for him and he knows Jeno also finds it weird that Mark isn't already here. The truth is Mark was hesitating between taking this bus or the previous one because he wasn't sure how long the ride was but while hesitating, he missed the bus that would have made sure he arrived on time. When Jeno takes his phone out of his pocket, most likely to call him, Mark finally steps towards his friends.

 

Jisung sees him first and flatly ignores Donghyuck still talking to him to call his name. They all turn their heads to where Jisung's looking at and Mark wants to laugh when he sees all of their faces' light up. They all run to him, asking multiple questions at a time.

 

"Where were you ?"

 

"Why did you take so long ?"

 

"Wait, where are your glasses ?"

 

"Did you finally learn how to see properly ?"

 

Mark laughs for real this time and Jeno's eyes widen. "Did you get rid of your braces ?"

 

"Wait for real ?" Jisung leans closer to Mark. "How'd you notice that, he barely opened his mouth."

 

Mark nods happily and smiles proudly, showing his teeth. When he notices all of his friends staring at him for longer than he thought they would, he gets shy and closes his mouth.

 

"Whoa, it really looks different." Renjun says, his eyes squinting, still not leaving Mark's face.

 

They all nod and without realizing it, Mark starts blushing. All his friends seem to notice though and they don't hesitate to tease him about it so Mark hides his face and walks to the bus, ignoring their laughs behind his back.

 

But unusually, Donghyuck isn't saying anything. He's not teasing Mark like the others or overreacting like he would usually do which is weird. Normally, he would be the first one to be making comments about Mark's appearance change or to at least laugh along. But the truth is Donghyuck _can't_ say anything. For some reason, no sound comes out of his throat. He's staring at Mark under the early morning sun and he does't feel like himself. Mark's a bit taller than him now, his voice's a bit deeper and he doesn't have his braces anymore and _were his eyes always that pretty  ?_ His glasses aren't here to hide them anymore and, hit by the sun, they're a nice light brown color, almost orange and his lashes are much longer than Donghyuck thought they were. Mark's face is more defined and Donghyuck doesn't remember him looking like that at all. They saw each other just last year and even since then, Donghyuck has seen pictures of the olders, videos, he's heard his voice on the phone and seen his face on Skype but it's never felt like it does now and Mark has never looked like he does right now. Mark's eyes cross his when he looks back to check if his friends are actually following him and when he shyly grins at him, Donghyuck flashes back a smile that the older doesn't seem to notice the awkwardness of.

 

When they get in the bus, Donghyuck puts his hood on his head and leans his head on Renjun's shoulder. Mark is in the seat just in front of them, next to Jeno and from his spot he can see his side profile, his smile directed to Jeno, the back of his head when he leans forward to talk to Jisung or Chenle, so he closes his eyes, hoping the image will go away.

 

But of course it doesn't.

 

 

"Mark."

 

During the second week of camp, Jeno and Mark fight.

 

 

Mark doesn't look up from his hands resting on his tights. He's fidgeting with his hands, biting his nails from time to time but he doesn't dare look at Donghyuck, who's staring at him with his arms crossed in front of his chest, visibly mad. Mark mutters a "what" in response and Donghyuck scoffs in disbelief.

 

" _What_ ? What do you two think you're doing, what do you mean you fought ?" He raises a brow that Mark can't see, too busy peeling dead skin around his fingernails.

 

"I told you, we argued yesterday."

 

"And ? I noticed you were acting weird but I thought you'd get over it already, as you always do so what is it this time ?"

 

Mark raises his head this time, and his gaze meets Donghyuck's. He notices his brows creased and his lips pursued so he lowers his head. "I can't tell you."

 

"Come on, you always fight for stupid reasons, I'm sure it's childish this time too." Donghyuck rolls his eyes, obviously sick of his friends' behaviour.

 

He just tried talking to Jeno too but he got no answer as well. Jeno wouldn't tell him the reason they had an argument but he did tell him Mark said something that hurt him, so Donghyuck knew Mark messed up. As far as Donghyuck can remember, he has never seen Jeno angry. He had been upset a lot, he himself fought with his cousin tons of times but in the end, Jeno always called a truce first. He didn't like staying mad for long and was always ready to apologized even if he wasn't at fault if that meant they could reconcile. So seeing Jeno frowning, straight up refusing to talk to Mark was really a first. Even Renjun tried to talk to him before they went to sleep, but nothing worked.

 

"I've never seen Jeno that mad in my whole life, Lee."

 

"Thanks, that doesn't really..."

 

"Do you know just how much he adores you ?" Donghyuck interrupts him and Mark bites his lips, looking at the floor. His vision's not really focused and it goes blurrier and blurrier as Donghyuck's words ring in his ears. "I don't know what you said to him but if that affected him that much, that's because you mean a lot to him and your words have a huge impact on him, you realize that, right ?"

 

Mark stays silent, he doesn't know what to answer and even if he knew, he's not sure any sound could come out of his mouth right now. Suddenly he's thinking about all the time he spent with Jeno, his best friend, the first one who made him feel loved and accepted when he was just a lonely kid and his own words are stuck in his head.

 

_"Have you always been so selfish ?"_

 

Donghyuck keeps talking.

 

"You know why I started being nicer ? To you, and everyone."

 

Mark shakes his head but he thinks he knows, after all, he's always known but he's so choked up, imagining Jeno being _pained_ by Mark's words, he can't bring himself to speak. He's thinking of Jeno's hurt, disappointed eyes as Mark's words hit him, he's thinking of Jeno loosening his jaw before letting out a bitter chuckle and he lets Donghyuck's words resonate in his ears as he realises he's the one who's so, so selfish.

 

"It was because of Jeno. It was all thanks to Jeno who loves you the most in the world and wanted - _wants_ everyone to love you just like he does, see you the way he does. He only wanted you to be happy so he told me..." Mark, too engrossed in his thoughts, doesn't notice Donghyuck stopping in the midst of his sentence to gulp. "He told everyone he had to tell to be nice to you, because that's what you deserve."

 

There's a silence, Mark can tell Donghyuck's waiting to see if he's going to say something but he doesn't still, so he keeps going on.

 

"Jeno never misses a chance to talk about you, about how great you are so seeing him so mad at you, I just know you fucked up and you have to go fix this right now."

 

Mark knows he has to and he's feeling pathetic right now because he's a coward who has never apologized once in his life, always getting away with it but right now, he doesn't have any other option and honestly, he just wants to tell Jeno he's sorry and he doesn't deserve him so he gets up, nods and leaves to look for his best friend.

 

 

 

Despite the fact that Jeno and Donghyuck were cousins and lived in the same neighbourhood, they didn’t go to the same school, Jeno attending a private school because his parents thought it would be better for him and his future. That’s why after kindergarten the two boys were separated which had been a disaster in Donghyuck’s eyes. Even though they were only small kids, they were extremely close and Donghyuck had grown very attached to his cousin who was like the big brother he needed. When his mother told him they wouldn't be able to see each other every day from now on, Donghyuck had been devastated, immediatly bursting into tears and screaming about how unfair it was. His mother tried to calm him down, as well as his father but nothing seemed to be able to stop his tears. Then Donghyuck’s aunt had arrived, followed by Jeno who started crying too, seeing his best friend crying on the floor. He had simply hugged Donghyuck as tight as his little arms allowed him to and rubbed his back while repeating « Why are you crying like that ? Aren’t you a big boy ? You can’t cry like that, we’ve talked about it, you big baby », his voice weak and cracking every three words. Donghyuck could only nod and hold Jeno tighter, sniffing into his shoulder.

 

After that, Jeno had convinced the younger to go to school without him and without making a fuss but Donghyuck was still mad. The first day of school had been hard, Donghyuck really didn’t want to go but his mother had him when she mentionned how disappointed Jeno would be if he didn’t show up on his first day. On the ride to school, his mother kept on saying how he would make lots of friends and how fun school would be, with a lot of new things he had never experienced yet and Donghyuck would be lying if he said his mother’s words didn’t make him a little excited. Sure, this would be ten times better with Jeno by his side, but maybe he could make something good out of it.

 

However, it turned out to be Donghyuck’s worst day of his life. Every following day turned out to be the worst of his life.

 

Since the first day, the first class, the first moment Donghyuck spoke a word, the other kids seemed to dislike him for a reason he didn’t know. When he had introduced himself, everyone had looked at him weird even thought Donghyuck couldn't think of anything wrong he could have said so he chose to ignore it, thinking he might have had misunderstood it, but his suspicions proved to be right when everyone refused to eat with him at lunch and when no one would sit with him in class. Donghyuck didn’t know what was wrong, but he knew there was something so, in order to understand, he tried to ask a boy who was sitting in front of him. When the bell rang, Donghyuck tapped his shoulder lightly but the boy only proceeded with putting his stuff in his bag. Donghyuck though he might not have felt it, so he tapped his shoulder again but this time the boy removed his arm abruptly before turning around.

 

"What do you want ?" The kid’s eyes were scornful, looking Donghyuck up and down, his face wearing an expression Donghyuck couldn’t decypher.

 

Donghyuck smiled shyly. "I’m sorry to bother you, but do you know why people don’t want to talk to me ? Maybe I’m just imagining things but I feel a bit ignored and-"

 

"That’s because you’re weird." The boy scoffed.

 

Donghyuck tilted his head on the side, frowing a bit. "Did I-"

 

"Listen, I don’t want to talk to you either so just leave me alone, leave us all alone, got it ?"

 

And then he left.

 

When he got back home that day, Jeno was the one who opened the door, smiling widely as he asked Donghyuck about his day. His eyes were full of expectations and Donghyuck couldn't let him down so he smiled back and said it was okay before quickly changing the subject. He did so everytime he was asked about school, but one day, he couldn't stand it anymore.

 

 

It was very usual for Donghyuck and Jeno to hang out at the other’s house after school even if they didn’t attend the same school and came home at different times. If one was here before the other, he would just wait in the living room, eating snacks or doing homework. So, Jeno doing his math homework with Donghyuck’s mother when the younger wasn’t here yet was nothing out of the usual. However, Donghyuck bursting through the door, going straight to his room without even bothering to take off his shoes, greet his mother or even just _aknowledge_ Jeno’s presence was a bit odd.

 

"Not even saying hi now ?" Jeno heard Donghyuck’s mother say, visibly annoyed by her son’s behaviour. He gulped and bit his lip before putting down his pen.

 

"I’ll go see him."

 

Jeno got up and started climbing the stairs silently, in case it would scare his cousin off. When he got to Donghyuck’s room, Jeno knocked four times as he usually did, to let Donghyuck know it was him but there was no answer. He knocked again and added a little "It’s me" to reassure the younger but still no answer. Jeno frowned and opened the door slightly, poking his head out the door. His frown deepened when he didn’t see Donghyuck in his bed or at his desk. Then he heard faint sniffing noises from the other side of the corridor.

 

_Of course._

 

Jeno closed the door and walked to a door at the end of corridor. He opened it and tried scrambling up the stairs as silently as possible but every stair creaked under his steps. He poked his head out of the hatch and sighed when he saw Donghyuck, legs tucked and head resting on his knees. Donghyuck always loved the attic of his house, far from the noise, far from everyone and he usually went there when he wanted to be at peace with Jeno, or when he wanted to be alone.

 

Or when he was sad.

 

Jeno crawled to him but Donghyuck didn’t move, even when Jeno was right in front of him.

 

"You come up here a lot these days, hm ?"

 

He didn’t answer, Jeno expected it so he tried again. "Donghyuck, it’s me, it’s Jeno."

 

Donghyuck still didn’t move but Jeno could hear him sniffing as well as his own heart breaking.

 

"Hyuck..." Jeno raised his hand to stroke Donghyuck’s hair which got the latter to let out a sob. "Oh Hyuck, come here." Jeno was on the verge of crying too and had to fight back his tears when he caught a glimpse of Donghyuck’s face before he burried it in Jeno’s neck, sobs much louder than before. The older rubbed his back gently, whispering "It’s okay, it’s okay" in his ear, hoping it would calm him down. Jeno could feel snot and saliva on his neck but he didn't care because he could also hear Donghyuck crying loudly and that was what made his heart ache the most. Jeno was pretty sure he was crying as well but he only rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, trying to make the tears go away because Donghyuck couldn't see him crying too, Jeno was sure Donghyuck wouldn't be able to get over it if he did. After a couple of minutes, Donghyuck stopped hiccuping and his breath slowed down but he was still sniffing.

 

"I really need you there, Jeno."

 

Donghyuck's voice was small, he was still tightly hugging his cousin, not wanting to let go just yet. Jeno didn’t have to ask to know something had happened at school, and he wasn’t sure he could ask anyway, too scared of what the other would answer. He was mad though, really mad, at the thought that someone had been mean to his little cousin and even more mad that he couldn’t do anything about it. He always noticed something was off with Donghyuck, ever since the first day of school, but he didn't speak to him about it, thinking it wasn't that important if he hadn't mentionned it already, but now that he had his little cousin crying in his arms, he wished he had.

 

"I’m sorry Hyuck but you know it’s impossible, I thought we agreed on that already." Jeno answered, not letting go of the other either. He felt like if he let go, Donghyuck was just going to break right here.

 

« Yes, but it’s harder than I thought, I can’t do it without you. » Donghyuck said, his voice as low a whisper. Jeno could hear the pout in it.

 

"Listen to me Hyuck." Jeno released his hold on Donghyuck and cupped his face between his hands. Seeing Donghyuck’s red puffed eyes and trembling lips made him falter a bit but he focused on what he was about to say again. "You’re an amazing boy and anyone who tells you otherwise is dumb, okay ?"

 

"But they told me-"

 

"Do you believe them or me ? I’m telling you, you’re the best boy ever and they’re going to regret their words when they’ll see how wonderful you are !" Jeno squeezed Donghyuck’s cheeks with his hands when he seemed about to tear up again and booped his nose. "Oh !"

 

"What ?" Donghyuck sniffed.

 

"I took your nose !" Jeno said, showing him his thumb stuck between his index and middle finger.

 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes but Jeno could still see the hint of a smile on his face. "That's not my nose."

 

"I think it is, though, look it's right here." Donghyuck giggled and Jeno continued. "How is my little cousin going to live without his nose ?"

 

"Hey, don’t call me little, we’re the same age and I’m taller than you !" Donghyuck retorted, chuckling lightly.

 

"In your dreams !" Jeno said before getting up and running to the stairs before Donghyuck would catch him.

 

"Don’t run in the stairs !" The two heard Donghyuck’s mom yell from the kitchen but neither of them answered, too busy laughing and running after each other.

 

 

Donghyuck often came home crying, sometimes he went to Jeno's but Jeno never found it in him to ask what was really happening. He didn't know if Donghyuck was being bullied at school, he didn't know if Donghyuck was fighting with his friends but he could never muster the courage to ask him. Everytime Donghyuck was like that, Jeno couldn't do anything but hug his cousin and tell him it was going to be alright but he knew things weren't going to get better by themselves. Everytime, Jeno tried to reassure himself by thinking Donghyuck didn't want to talk about it, he didn't look like he wanted to, but he knew it wasn't true and even if it was, that didn't mean he should let Donghyuck suffer alone. Jeno felt miserable everytime Donghyuck came home looking more and more crushed.

 

Until one day, Donghyuck came home smiling.

 

More than that, he was laughing, giggling, running everywhere, and he couldn't stop talking about this friend he made at school, how nice and funny he was. How excited he was to go to school the next day. Jeno thought he hadn't seen Donghyuck this happy since long ago, so he thought he would forever be grateful to Renjun, who could bring such a smile to his cousin's face.

 

The first year they went to camp, Jeno and Donghyuck decided they would not spend too much time together, in order to make other friends.

 

Donghyuck changed a lot in the span of just one year. He quickly took down the walls he built around him and began to smile and laugh whole-heartedly around everyone which was the Donghyuck Jeno had always known. Donghyuck didn't ask him to speak for him anymore, he took parts in conversations with his own will and made friends with anyone he could. He also relied a lot less on Jeno which he should be happy about but somehow, he felt a certain tug at his heart strings. Nevertheless, he was happy Donghyuck was flourishing and that was the most important thing. Jeno knew it was mostly due to Renjun who was a unique boy, sometimes very quiet, sometimes cracking jokes here and there but Jeno kind of liked him.

 

Renjun wasn't able to go with them the first time because he had to go back to China for the holidays, to visit his family so despite Donghyuck growing a lot more outgoing, Jeno could sense he felt a bit lost without his best friend and he knew his cousin was going to cling to him all the time, so he made him agree to go their separate ways at first. Jeno wanted to spend time with Donghyuck, really, but he wanted him to keep getting brighter.

 

Jeno himself wasn't really a people person. He was nice and comfortable to be with so people usually liked him but he wouldn't have exactly described himself as outgoing. He was actually quite shy and considering how everything went at his new school, he was even a bit afraid of what was going to happen to him if he was all alone. When he got on the bus, a few minutes after Donghyuck so it would be easier for him, Jeno saw his cousin already laughing with other boys at the back of the bus and he smiled fondly before realizing he was blocking the way. He slowly walked down the rows, praying for someone to be alone. Luckily, he catched sight of a boy sitting by himself, near a window. He was reading a book and didn't really look like he wanted to be bothered but Jeno didn't let that stop him as he walked to him, a smile on his face.

 

_Be yourself Jeno, be nice._

 

 

"Have you been crying ?"

 

Jeno looked alarmed, Donghyuck just opened the door of his room with red eyes and cheeks showing marks of dried tears. He tried denying it by shaking his head but it was all so obvious and Donghyuck didn't want to hide it anymore so he bit his lower lip to try to keep his tears from falling again and slowly nodded.

 

Jeno immediatly got up from his chair, leaving his homework on his desk and cupped his cousin's face in his hands. "What's wrong ?"

 

"Someone told me I'm mean again today." Donghyuck wrapped his arms around Jeno's neck to hug him because he didn't want him to see his face ruined by all the tears he had shed on the way to Jeno's house.

 

"What do you mean again ?" Jeno frowned, drawing cirlces in Donghyuck's back as he always did when he cried because he knew it soothed him.

 

Jeno could feel Donghyuck hesitated to answer but he eventually gave in. "People have been telling me that almost everyday, even some of my friends do, they say they're joking but I know they're not and either way it really hurts."

 

Jeno stopped hugging Donghyuck to look at him but didn't let go of him. Donghyuck was gripping the back of his shirt tightly and Jeno knew he didn't want to look at him but he left him no other choice anyway.

 

"You're not mean Hyuck." Jeno stopped a moment to think of the right words to say. "Maybe a bit blunt ? I know you don't mean to, but sometimes I think maybe your jokes may be a bit hurtful ?" It sounded like a question because Jeno was trying to be very cautious with his own words, he didn't want to offend him. However, it didn't work or maybe nothing would have worked because Donghyuck broke into tears and burried his face into Jeno's shoulder.

 

"That's just how I talk, you know I don't mean to be rude." Donghyuck hiccuped, having trouble to talk between his sobs. Jeno got back to drawing circles on his back, trying to calm him down.

 

"I know, I know, Hyuck, but I think others might misunderstand you sometimes." Jeno was swinging them from left to right. "Maybe you should try being a bit nicer ? Some people can't really stand this kind of jokes, like Mark for example."

 

For some reason, Donghyuck's sobs get louder as Mark's name is mentionned. "Why does everyone like Mark that much ?"

 

"I'm sure you would love him too if you tried. He's really, really kind, I'm sure you would get along amazingly if you were a tiny bit nicer."

 

Donghyuck sniffles in Jeno's shoulder. "I'll try."

 

 

 

 

"What are you doing ?"

 

Mark turns his head and sees Donghyuck lying down next to him, on his right side. It's a quiet night for Mark, all of his friends are either playing football or in their room. Mark is laying on the grass, not too far from where the kids are chasing after the ball, looking at the stars. Mark surprises himself doing that more and more as time passes. Sometimes, like now, he takes the time to lie down and watch the night sky but even when he's with people, he tends to look up to the sky without realizing it. Somehow, it seems to soothe him, he feels like he's being hugged by the stars and the moon. The ground is a bit wet and it's starting to get cold but Mark doesn't want to go back to his room so soon and the night sky is too pretty for him to leave it. He thought of just go grab a sweatshirt and come back but he's too lazy to get up so he just lets the wind embrace him and hopes he won't get sick.

 

It's weird that Donghyuck is next to him right now, because he usually never joins him. At night, Mark mostly hangs with Renjun, and Jeno, Chenle and Jisung sometimes chat with him for a bit, but Donghyuck's often too busy with the game and his other friends to bother. Mark doesn't really hold it against him, but it still feels a bit odd to have Donghyuck by his side.

 

"What are you doing ?" Mark asks back, putting emphase on the _you_.

 

Donghyuck looks at him with curious eyes before chuckling lightly. "What do you mean  ? Can't I just spend time with my friend ? Now that you talked with Jeno, it feels like you two are even closer than before -which I thought was impossible- and it's nearly impossible to get one of you two alone."

 

"I mean, you can," Mark chuckles and turns his head back toward the sky, "It's just unusual."

 

It's true he's been spending even more time with Jeno than before. After Donghyuck conviced him to, Mark went to talk to his best friend who didn't even want to see him at first but Mark apologized and started ranting about how much he loved and appreciated Jeno and how sorry he was because he threw words at him carelessly without even meaning them and he was really about to cry again, right in front of him so that was enough for Jeno to forgive him. Somehow, that brought them even closer so Donghyuck wasn't entirely wrong. Still, he had never showed signs of wanting to be  _alone_ with Mark before.

 

"I just wanted to stay with you." Donghyuck shrugs, as if that was an obvious answer.

 

It wasn't, and now Mark's feeling even more flustered than usual, even if he knows he has no reason to. They both stay silent for a few minutes, staring at the sky. Mark wonders what Donghyuck is thinking about but then the thought that maybe Donghyuck is wondering the same thing about him crosses his mind and Mark has to force his mind to think of something else. Even if he tries to persuade himself that he's thinking of the constellations, Mark can still feel Donghyuck's presence next to him and hear his soft breathing. He thinks it's the most silent he's ever heard the younger who's even loud in his sleep, muttering words and breathing loudly. But right now, Donghyuck's very quiet, his breathing is slow and silent even though he was playing football just ten minutes ago. Mark's looking at the constellation of Ursa Minor now. It's the first one that Donghyuck showed him and the only one that Mark's able to spot easily. He has tried learning about others as well, but he just can't seem to recognize them once he has to find them in the sky. Mark wonders if Donghyuck has new constellations to talk to Mark about.

 

"Do you still like constellations ?"

 

Donghyuck does not look at him this time as he speaks. "Not really. I mean, I still like looking at the sky and it feels gratifying when I recognize one, but I kind of dropped the hobby of learning about them, if that's what your asking."

 

"I see." Mark doesn't really know why, but his heart shatters a bit as he hears Donghyuck's answer so he doesn't ask why Donghyuck gave up on something he seemed to love so much.

 

They're silent again and Mark doesn't know it, but as he's staring at the sky very carefully, Donghyuck's stealing glances at him, as subtly as he can. Under the moonlight, Mark looks especially pretty, he thinks. He doesn't notice his thoughts wandering, so they go on and on, about his eyes, his eyelashes, about the hair falling on his forehead, about his skin and his lips. Donghyuck's eyes just can't seem to stop looking at the older and when he sees him slowly dozing off, Donghyuck takes the opportunity to take a proper look at Mark. He takes every feature of his in and he doesn't know why he's acting like that, he feels like something is very wrong with him, but he can't stop it from happening. There's something about the Mark in front of his eyes that's mersmerizing him and he can't identify what it is exactly. Donghyuck always thought Mark was good-looking but it was never really outstanding. Mark had a very well-balanced face with nice eyes, a nice nose and a nice mouth but that was it. However, since the first day of this year's camp, something about the older has been bothering Donghyuck. It's the same Mark he's always known, the same awkward boy with the same laugh and the same spark in his eyes but Donghyuck doesn't feel the same at all. It's frustrating him, he's almost mad at his friend who's making him feel and think weird things but deep down, he knows it's all just in his head. He thinks that, surely, all these feelings will go away and that it's only temporary, he's going to go back to normal and he'll be able to tease Mark like before and to talk with him without feeling tongue-tied, it's only normal he's feeling this way, they're growing up and Mark's the oldest among them so he's the first one to change and mature, he also stopped wearing glasses and he doesn't have braces anymore, it's normal to feel disoriented by all this happening at once and of course everything will go back to normal in no time but just when Mark turns his head toward him, Donghyuck feels his throat become dry and he thinks maybe, maybe it's more than that.

 

"By the way do you..."

 

Neither Mark or Donghyuck realized how close they were when they were just laying next to each other, but now that both of their head are turned toward the other, the proximity is very obvious. Donghyuck and Mark both have their lips half-opened as if they want something but Mark gulps when he sees Donghyuck's big brown eyes staring straight into his own. Mark can see every single detail of Donghyuck's face, everything he had never noticed before even though he thought he knew everything.  He notices how especially long Donghyuck's eyelashes are, how full his lips are and how wide his eyes are as he's looking at him. Mark can't continue his sentence, he can't say anything, he thinks he has forgotten every single word he has ever learned but he can't look away either. Mark sees four moles on Donghyuck's cheek and as his eyes trail down the younger's neck and notice two other, Mark thinks he has never spotted a constellation this fast in his life, not even Ursa Minor. Donghyuck must have noticed Mark's eyes because he gulps and abruptly gets up, looking straight in front of him.

 

"I'm going to join the others now, see you later."

 

And then he leaves.

 

Mark watches his back for a few seconds, thinking about the weird thing that just happened. He looks back at the sky and starts humming a song to ignore the sound of his heart beating in his chest.

 

 

 

It's one of those rare nights when Donghyuck isn't the one singing. This time, he just sat around the fire, a few seats across from Mark, only shrugging and talking about how he wanted to "enjoy the night as a bystander for once", when he was asked about why he wasn’t already singing.

 

Mark looks at Donghyuck insistently, trying to get his attention even if he knows Donghyuck won't tell him anything more than what he told the others but the younger doesn't even look at him so Mark gets back to his conversation.

 

That night is a very common one, everyone's talking and laughing together with only the moon, the stars and the fire for light, and the sweet voice of the boy Mark doesn't know ringing in his ears together with the light sound of the guitar he is strumming.

 

Mark is sitting on a bench with Jeno on his right side, giggling about something he just said to him, but Mark can't concentrate on what his best friend's saying. He keeps stealing glances at Donghyuck who's across of him, a bit laid back and smiling softly while moving his head to the melody of the song.

Renjun's just next to him, his eyes closed, looking like he is humming the lyrics of the song. Mark thinks they're really inimitable and his heart clenches. The scene is just so sweet and pure, it feels like he's invading something private, special with his unwanted stares that even he, starts to realize were too insistent. There's such a bittersweet feeling to the scene and Mark can't pinpoint why but his lips start to feel dry.

As he's about to look away, Renjun suddenly open his eyes and bends towards Donghyuck to whisper something in his ear. Mark sees both Renjun’s and Donghyuck’s smiles grow bigger as Renjun talks until Donghyuck can't keep it in anymore and bursts into laughter while throwing his head forward.

Donghyuck’s smile shines under the moonlight and the stars reflect in his eyes and Mark can hear Donghyuck’s laugh from where he is and he swears the song that's still being sung doesn't feel like music anymore.

At this point, Mark really feels like intruding and he lifts his head up to the sky when Donghyuck puts his head on Renjun’s shoulder.

 

The night sky's extremly beautiful that night, the moon shines a bright yellow and the stars look so big Mark feels overwhelmed. He can see Ursa minor, Ursa major, Orion, Cassiopeia and everything reminds him of Donghyuck. The constellations are never as pretty as the ones on Donghyuck’s face, the moon never shines as bright as when Mark's looking at it with Donghyuck, the stars are never as meaningful as the ones in Donghyuck’s eyes.

For some reason, Mark feels really sad and emotional that night. He's dealing with a lot of feelings that he doesn't know how to explain and his heart's hurting him more than usual.

As Mark was engrossed in his thoughts, a flash of light crosses the sky, right in front of his eyes. Mark’s eyes widen as he registers what just happened and his mouth opens in disbelief. When was the last time he saw a shooting star ?

 

Quickly, he lowers his head and looks around him to see if anyone saw it too. He meets Donghyuck’s gaze, eyes as wide as him.

 

 

Of course. It's always Donghyuck.

 

 

Donghyuck breaks into a smile but he never breaks the eye contact.

 

 

It has always been Donghyuck.

 

 

Donghyuck is like the shooting star of Mark's own sky. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it sucks /too/ much tell me and i'll edit it but it's 11pm and i have school tomorrow so i'm just posting this now because idk how busy im gonna get now......  
> leave comments and kudos (if you want) *heart heart*
> 
>  
> 
> (((also i made a twitter that i barely use which is @323hyuck and a curiouscat:::: https://curiouscat.me/bratzhyuck so if you're bored... don't hesitate)))


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished this chapter instead of studying for my exams yay ^u^  
> it's been a long time .... i'm so glad i finally found the time and inspiration to finish this!!  
> it may seem a bit rushed bc i wanted to add a LOT of things but in the end i couldnt because the chapter was already long and messy enough >:((
> 
> anyway enjoy reading this mess :D

When Mark is 16, he goes to camp again but something's different.

 

To be honest, every year was different and full of surprises, things Mark would have never thought he'd experience. But this year, Mark _feels_ different.

 

He wishes he could say he didn't know what happened to him, but pretending nothing has changed or not to know would be straight up being in denial and even if Mark thought he was good at ignoring his feelings, he quickly realized he isn't at all.

 

It gets to the point where he can't stop even thinking about it and it's suffocating him so he decides to talk about it to the only people he can. Yukhei and Jungwoo are surprised, to say the least, surprised their best friend is in love with someone, surprised it happened without them knowing or even noticing, surprised Mark's already using a word as big as «  love  » but they quickly understand after Mark tells them it's Donghyuck, the boy he likes. It's Mark's turn to be surprised, he thought his friends' reaction would be bigger but Jungwoo tells him he lost count of how many times he heard the boy's name in Mark's mouth and that by the way Mark talks about him, he thought about it already.

 

Mark's in utter disbelief, he thought his feelings were all very new but it turns out his friends already saw it coming, even before himself. This incident leads Mark to wonder if his other friends suspect it too, those who, if they knew, could be a problem. He's pretty sure Jisung and Chenle couldn't know because, as smart as they are, they're probably too busy with each other to notice anything about Mark. For Renjun and Jeno, he's not so sure, though. Renjun's probably the most insightful among them and he knows Mark more than enough to notice if his behaviour change. And Jeno being his best friend, Mark knows if he just stutters, stares a second too long or avoids his eyes once, he would figure it out.

 

And of course, there's Donghyuck. Donghyuck who, everytime he calls, makes his heart ache in weird ways, Donghyuck who always has something about his day to share with Mark, Donghyuck who doesn't know anything. At least, Mark hopes, because even he is beginning to understand Jungwoo's words, he can feel he's being obvious but somehow, he doesn't totally hate it. It's like he still wants Donghyuck to know about his feelings, so he can get over it or maybe, maybe he could reciprocate them.

 

But Donghyuck is oblivious and they go to camp like every year.

 

It makes Mark anxious, having to be careful about his every words or moves but no matter how loud his heart yells at him to just let go and tell the younger, Mark just can't risk it, he can't afford losing Donghyuck's friendship or making things awkward between his friends, because before anything else, Donghyuck is one of Mark's best friends, he's Jeno's cousin, Renjun's closest friend, almost like Chenle and Jisung's older brother and this, matters more than any feeling Mark could have for Donghyuck so he just tries to act like everything's the same as before.

 

But it's hard, putting aside all his feelings. Mark first realizes it when he sees Donghyuck on the bus. Despite the fact it's july and only 7 in the morning, the weather's very cloudy and rain is starting to fall when Mark arrives to the meeting place, a bit late. He started being late at almost every occasion since the year before so his friends don't really wait for him anymore. Jeno, the first times, tried to convince the others to wait until the older arrived but he gave up too when he got in trouble after he arrived late to lunch because he was waiting for his friend. So when Mark arrives, he's not surprised to see his friends (or anyone for that matter) aren't outside waiting for him, under the pouring rain.

 

He quickly puts his suitcase in the hold and hops on the bus. He doesn't have to look for his friends for more than five seconds since they're sitting in the same seats as always, at the back of the bus. Mark doesn't really like sitting there, he has a bit of a motion sickness so he likes sitting in the front but after one or two years of his friends forcing him to sit with them, he kind of forgot about it and they're always either talking, playing games or laughing so Mark doesn't really have time to even think about his stomach aching.

 

They don't see him walking down the rows to them, despite his shoes making squishy noises every step he takes because of the rain, too busy with whatever they're doing : Donghyuck and Jeno are talking to some of their friends they made the past years in the row next to them, Renjun and Jisung are chatting together about some new phone game they both grew addicted to and Chenle's struggling to look for something he dropped under his seat, his phone in his right hand with his flashlight on.

 

Mark's eyes don't leave his friends as he walks, wondering if they're going to aknowledge his presence or not, and they quickly drift to Donghyuck. He hasn't seen him ever since he realized his feelings for him, the previous year, except during the multiple Skype calls they did over the year but the poor quality of their computers' cameras added to the terrible wifi could never do Donghyuck justice. The tanned boy only rarely takes pictures of himself, send them even less often so the only chance Mark gets to grasp Donghyuck's beauty is when he sees him with his own two eyes, really. And every time, it's like he has forgotten everything and rediscovers the younger all over again.

 

Or maybe Donghyuck's just a new person every year, because Mark doesn't think he has ever seen this boy before while still feeling like the face he's looking at right now is the most familiar he ever laid his eyes on. Donghyuck has the same tanned skin that makes him stand out, he still has his little constellation on his cheek and his hair is as black as ever but something in his aura changed, something Mark can see without even having the other look at him. The way he moves his hands around when he talks, the way he breaks into a smile at whatever he just heard, everything seems new to Mark. The closer he gets, the more he can see how Donghyuck grew up in just the span of a year. He can hear his voice now and it's a bit deeper than before but his bell-like laughter is still the same, he can see his face better now and it's thinner, a bit more chiseled. Mark feels like he's looking at a painting.

 

He's so engrossed that he's not watching where he's looking and without fail, he trips on something. He almost falls on a girl on his left but luckily he manages to stop himself by grabbing the seat back. He apologizes to her and was about to leave but then realizes there's a hand grabbing his wrist. He looks back and his eyes meet those of a boy he has never seen before with an alarmed look on his face.

 

"Sorry, my feet were in your way."

 

"It's fine." Mark answers, a bit taken aback at the boy's genuineness. If it was Mark, or anyone, he would have just said sorry and went on with what he was previously doing but the boy actually took the trouble to stop and apologize properly which kind of warmed Mark's heart. He didn't even notice everything went quiet around them for a second, everyone waiting for the boy's next move, before it got back to normal. It seems like they're all watching every single thing he does and it's confusing Mark because he's pretty sure it's his first time seeing him so he thinks it's rather unlikely the people around are all his friends already. The attention the stranger's getting is making Mark a bit curious but the other boy seems oblivious as he lets him go with a kind smile before going back to his conversation with the girl Mark almost fell on earlier, this time making sure his feet aren't in the way.

 

Mark ultimately arrives to where his friends are and they finally notice his presence.

 

"Did you get lost or what ? We thought the bus was going to leave without you." Donghyuck says, bending over Jeno's seat in front of him. He was trying to sound detached but Mark can see the hint of a smile on his face.

 

Mark only shrugs in answer as he lets out a laugh and plops down next to Jeno. He doesn't even have the time to take off his coat that Chenle's already picking on him. "Got caught in the rain ?"

 

"Isn't it obvious ?" Mark's hair is wet and his shirt is sticking to his chest. He's sure he looks ridiculous and he knew Chenle would have never missed an opportunity to make fun of him so he just rolls his eyes. As the younger boy giggles, Mark glances at Donghyuck and is surprised to see him already looking at him. Their eyes meet for a second and Mark doesn't know if he should look away or say something but luckily, Renjun does it first.

 

"So, have you all seen the new boy ?"

 

"You'll have to be more specific, I've never seen half of the people here." Jeno answers, without looking up from his phone.

 

Renjun rolls his eyes, as if who he was talking about was obvious. "Who would I be talking about ? The one with pink hair."

 

"I tripped over him earlier." Mark says, as if that was an information interesting enough for whatever this conversation was.

 

"Didn't he seem weird to you ?" Renjun asks, and Donghyuck's pretending not to be interested but Mark can see him staring at his fingernails for longer than usual.

 

Mark shrugs. "Not really, he seems nice."

 

Mark looks at the boy and indeed, he seems nice. His pink hair is probably the most striking thing about him, the thing you notice first but if Mark was to be honest, everything about him is quite intriguing. Other than his peculiar hairstyle, his whole face makes you want to keep staring : his traits are slim, well defined and delicate with kind eyes and a cat-like mouth, drawn in such a way it looks like he's constantly smiling. Or maybe it's because he is; from the moment Mark saw him, the bright grin hasn't left his face except when he caught Mark before he fell. He's listening carefully to what the girl with whom he's talking is saying, never cutting her off and only chuckling from time to time. Mark's not the only one looking at him, he can see the people around the boy are too, waiting for their turn to talk with him which adds to his fascinating side.

 

"He seems annoying to me, he looks like he just wants attention."

 

Renjun's voice brings Mark back to his group of friends and he sees the Chinese boy slightly frowning. Mark frowns a bit as well, not used to his friend specifically disliking someone. Renjun either likes or ignores the people around him and most of the times, it's hard to tell who he likes and who he's ignoring so it's quite uncharateristic of him to express a real feeling of annoyance towards someone.

 

"Let the poor boy breathe, you haven't even talked to him." Jeno snorts and Jisung nods, agreeing with him.

 

"I'm just voicing my thoughts !" Renjun retorts, leaning back into his seat and crossing his arms.

 

Mark looks at Donghyuck but he sees him locking arms with Renjun and putting his head on his shoulder so he gulps and turns back to Jeno to ask him what he's doing.

 

 

 

The next day, Mark's sitting with Renjun during lunch as they wait for their four other friends to arrive. They wanted to go to the cafeteria all together but when it was time to go, they were nowhere to be seen so the two oldests decided to leave without them, thinking they would join them later eventually anyway.

 

They're sitting in front of each other at a table near the windows and the room is so noisy they can barely hear each other. Mark asks Renjun how was his first year of high school even though they already talked about it countless of times over the phone or through text but still, it seems like Renjun has a lot of things to say since he goes on a fifteen minutes rant about his classes, the teachers and the awful cafetaria food. Renjun joined the drama club in the beginning of the year and regardless of how many times he says it was just in order to support Donghyuck who "nearly begged him to join with him", everyone who knows him can see he really enjoys it, Donghyuck there or not.

 

Mark still remembers his excitement when he called him at 9pm once he got home to tell him he had gotten one of the first roles in the school play. It was obvious he was thrilled because else he wouldn't have called impulsively in the first place, he would have waited for the next day or maybe just texted him. When Mark saw Renjun's name on his screen, he wondered what Renjun could possibly have to tell him since he never really called him except if he had something really important to say or if they had a video call planned with everyone else because otherwise he was "too lazy". When Mark picked up, he didn't even have the time to ask if something happened that he was greeted with Renjun's excited shriek repeating "Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark !".

 

Mark really wishes he could have been there, to watch Renjun and Donghyuck's first play ever but he could only have Jeno's poor quality videos. Mark could neither see nor hear very well, but it was obvious the play wasn't extraordinary, however, it was as good as a school play could be and his friends' performance really made it better than anything he could have ever imagined. Renjun played a very charismatic character that really suited him and Mark was pretty sure Donghyuck's character wasn't supposed to be entertaining but he made it funny anyway, throwing adlibs here and there. Mark could hear Jeno's giggles through the video as well as the rest of the public's laugh mingled with his own laughter.

 

Renjun was in the middle of wondering out loud if lots of freshmans were going to join drama club the next year (Mark could see he was worried about having competition other than Donghyuck) when someone made their way to their table.

 

Mark looked up from his plate only to meet the pink-haired boy's eyes.

 

Once again.

 

"Hi !' He says, the same bright smile on his face Mark saw the day before on the bus. 'Oh ? Where are your friends ?'

 

"Ah, if you want to see them, I think they're going to come a bit later." Mark answers, used to people looking for his friends.

 

The boy laughs. "It's okay, I just wanted to ask your names."

 

Mark's a bit taken aback at the question but he answers anyway, hoping it sounds natural. "I'm Mark." He glances at Renjun, but his friend doesn't look like he's going to say anything, he's picking at his vegetables with his fork without even looking at the boy, so Mark continues. "And this is Renjun."

 

The boy smiles, not the least bit thrown off by Renjun's attitude. "I'm Jaemin. Well, it's nice to meet you !"

 

Mark nods, unsure about what he should answer, but he smiles back, hoping that way they wouldn't come off as rude. It seems to work as Jaemin chuckles.

 

"I'll come back later then ! Bye _Renjun_ ," Jaemin says while obviously teasing the boy, "See you Mark."

 

He smiles for the last time and Mark's pretty sure he sees him winking at him before turning his back and going to his table.

 

"He's so irritating."

 

Mark looks back at Renjun clenching his fork in his hand.

 

"What, again ? He did nothing except asking our names, he seems quite kind actually."

 

Renjun rolls his eyes. "That's what he's pretending to be. Did you hear how he said my name ?"

 

Mark laughs at how silly Renjun sounds. "You deserved that, though. You should have at least aknowledged his presence."

 

Renjun doesn't have the time to answer because Donghyuck comes running in their direction, quickly followed by Chenle and Jisung trailing behind.

 

Mark knows this is going to go wrong the second he sees the bright smiles on Donghyuck and Chenle’s faces as they make their way to the table where Renjun and Mark are sitting at. He also knows very well the best thing to do when these two have those eyes is to pretend he doesn't see them so that's exactly what he does.

 

"So, guys ! You won’t believe what amazing idea Chenle got when we were running away from Jisung !" Donghyuck says while clapping his hands, purposely ignoring Jisung panting. Chenle sits by Renjun’s side as Donghyuck keeps on talking. "We’ve all come here for like, what, 9 years now ? Oh shit, I didn’t realize, that’s a lot of years, what ?" He stops, taking in what he just said.

 

"Anyway," Chenle cuts Donghyuck off who was being far too slow for him,"We ran into the camp's instructors talking about organizing some event so we volunteered to take the organization into our hands ! But their idea was kind of boring, so we suggested something else and you'll never guess what it is !"

 

Mark's sighing at this point, fed up with his friends’ antics. He's glad he can always count on Renjun to be on the same page as him. "Don’t beat around the bush."

 

Donghyuck flashes the fakest smile Mark has ever seen to his best friend before he sits down in front of him, pushing Mark to the side, holding Renjun’s stare. That's something Mark kind of admires because even if Renjun's one of his best friends, there are still times he feels a little scared of him (even if he would never admit it). But if he thinks of it well, Donghyuck is kind of scary himself sometimes.

 

"Yes, Renjun, so our idea is to organize an orienteering race !" Donghyuck says way too enthusiastically for the rest of the table. At least for Renjun who's already frowning as he rubs his temples.

 

The silence doesn't last long - it never lasts long with them - because Jisung is raising a brow as he asks the questions everyone (Renjun and Mark) was wondering about. "Where would we even do that ? In the courtyard ?"

 

"Why do you think there’s a forest only ten minutes from here ?" Chenle asks back.

 

"Certainely not for your stupid ideas." Renjun retorts.

 

"Come on Renjun," Donghyuck starts to say, poutting, knowing very well it would tenderize his best friend, "It would be so fun with all the other kids, imagine the 6 years old running around everywhere, it’ll be so cute !"

 

"What if they fall and hurt themselves ?" Jisung asks. It's Chenle’s turn to roll his eyes as he hits him under the table.

 

"This is such a terrible idea." Renjun simply says but everyone knows he has given up already. Donghyuck makes a noise of contentment with a big smile on his face.

 

At this moment, Jeno finally arrives with a stray in his hands and he sits with them, a big smile on his face, completely unaware of the conversation going on. Mark wants to ask him where he's been but Chenle doesn't let him the time to do so.

 

"Jeno ! What do you think about an orienteering race with everyone ?"

 

"You mean the whole camp ?" He asks and both Donghyuck and Chenle nod while smiling. "Sounds fun."

 

Renjun sighs while Donghyuck and Chenle high five each other, knowing they've won already.

 

"And you Mark ?" Jeno asks him. He looks up from his plate and sees everyone’s eyes on him. He sees Donghyuck’s bright smile waiting for him to answer. He licks his lips.

 

"Yeah sure, why not."

 

"Amazing ! Well, you didn’t have a choice anyway because the instructors already agreed." Chenle laughs.

 

_This is such a bad idea._

 

 

 

__

Mark already knew it was a bad idea the moment it was presented to him, but now that he's standing in the middle of a crowd with everyone wearing similar tracksuits, already sweating under the early afternoon’s sun and listening to Donghyuck and Chenle’s speech, he's sure it was a terrible idea.

 

"You didn’t want to do this either, did you ?"

 

Mark doesn't even have to turn to know that it's Renjun who talked from his left side, arms crossed in front of his chest and a look probably similar to Mark's on his face. "Not really."

 

"How were these two even given the responsability of organizing this thing ? Like, I get this was their idea, but everyone knows them, this is going to be such a mess." Renjun says as his frown gets deeper, a bit too loud apparently because Donghyuck hears and says "Shut up Renjun, we’re all happy to be here !" before processing with his speech.

 

Jeno giggles from behind them before shushing them.

 

"And now, let the race begin !" Chenle yells.

 

"Wait, aren’t we supposed to do this in teams ?" Mark says, confused, but Renjun only shrugs.

 

"Cope with it Lee !" Donghyuck yells from his spot before blowing the whistle hanging from his neck.

 

_Where did he even get that ?_

 

"Well, I guess we’ll team up together then." Renjun says as he pulls on Jisung’s shirt who's already trying to leave without them.

 

Chenle walks up to them with a bright smile on his face.

 

"You're not playing ?" Jeno asks, stretching on the side. Mark thinks he's taking this way too seriously but Jeno seems happy to be here so he doesn't say anything.

 

"How could we ? We set up this whole thing, we'd just win in ten minutes." Chenle says proudly. "I can give you hints, though, but they're not free."

 

"In your dreams !" Renjun answers before pulling Mark and Jeno away, knowing full well they could fall easily into Chenle's trap (Mark because he wants to get over with it soon and Jeno because he's gullible and he has a soft spot for Chenle). Jisung sticks his tongue out at his best friend before running after the others.

 

They haven't even walked for ten minutes that they hear a voice calling their names loudly from behind. They don't have to turn around because they know who the voice belongs to and the voice's footsteps are growing closer and closer until its owner can wrap his arms around Mark and Renjun's shoulders.

 

"So, how is it going ?"

 

Mark glances slightly at Donghyuck's bright face only centimeters away from his own face before moving a bit on the side, making the younger's arm fall off. Donghyuck doesn't seem to mind or he chooses not to say anything because instead he just tugs at Jisung's collar to bring him closer. None of them stops walking.

 

"We litteraly just started, what do you think ?" Renjun answers, raising a brow at Donghyuck's question he, Mark can see, sees as stupid.

 

Donghyuck just giggles. "You already missed some hints, though. Well, see you later !"

 

Renjun barely has the time to ask him if he's serious that he runs away while laughing, probably to go bother someone else.

 

"If this takes more than two hours and we don't even win, I'm going to kill him." Renjun says and Jeno laughs.

 

Mark's eyes linger on Donghyuck a bit longer, he watches him running around happily, his bright smile never leaving his face. The younger boy stops in his tracks suddenly which almost makes Mark stop too without realizing but he keeps walking, slowing his pace so Donghyuck doesn't go out of his sight. Mark sees him waving at someone before starting to run towards the person. He's obviously not looking where he's going and he trips on a tree root. He looks like he's going to fall and Mark holds his breath but fortunately, he regains his balance and just starts to run again while giggling.

 

"I swear he's going to get hurt by the end of this."

 

Mark turns his head to see Renjun's eyes following Donghyuck's figure between the trees. Jisung asks Renjun who he's talking about and Mark has an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

 

 

 

"Oh no, not this." Renjun mutters as he starts to speed walk while pulling Jisung who's the nearest near him. Jeno makes a noise of confusion and Mark tilts his head, not knowing what has gotten into Renjun. He quickly understands though, when he hears a familiar voice behind him.

 

"Hey guys, what’s up !"

 

Mark turns around to be faced with a smiling Jaemin, his pink hair parsemed with leaves. Mark frowns at that, wondering what happened to the younger boy. Jaemin notices his weird stare and looks up too, as if he could see his own head.

 

"Ah this," He giggles, "My friends pushed me in a pile of leaves." He says as he shakes his head, trying to get the leaves to fall. Mark raises his hand to Jaemin’s head and takes one especially big leaf between his fingers before throwing it on the ground. Jaemin blinks and then gets back to his usual smiling self. However, Mark notices he takes a step back and turns to Jeno.

 

"How is it going for you ? Wait, weren’t Renjun and Jisung here a second ago ?" Jaemin asks.

 

Mark's surprised Jaemin remembers all of their names because he's seen him go around and ask everyone's name but he didn't think he'd actually memorize them all. Especially theirs, because if Jaemin has probably been talking to everyone at camp even though it's only the first week, Mark's pretty sure he hasn't been talking with any of them since Renjun seems to dislike him so much. Everytime Jaemin does as much as talking near him, Renjun sighs in annoyance as loud as he can, probably hoping the other boy would notice, and leaves, which is exactly what he just did. Mark hasn't talked to Jaemin ever since he asked their names and the others arguably have never talked to him at all so it's quiet unexpected Jaemin remembers their names and go up to them as if they were his friends.

 

Mark feels a bit sad when he hears Jaemin's words because he just wants to be friends with everyone and he's always acting nice but Renjun seems to hate him and for no reason at all what’s more. It's worse that Jaemin seems like he isn't even aware of that. Luckily, Jeno answers first.

 

"They left us behind because we’re too slow." He says with a soft smile.

 

It's true, Renjun hasn't stopped repeating they're going to end up last at this pace. Although he seemed very reluctant at the idea of the race, he sounds like he really wants to win nonetheless and the thought makes Mark smile.

 

"Well, I left my friends because they’re too slow, so it looks like we’re worse than you two." Jaemin chuckles.

 

There's an awkward silence and Mark's mind is running trying to find something to say but when he looks at Jaemin he doesn't look awkward at all, he's smiling happily while looking at the trees around them, at the leaves falling on the ground, at the other kids running around and Mark wants to ask him how he's always so cheerful. Jeno's just walking, a bit ahead of them but Jeno's never awkward so Mark tries to think of something else. They're walking quiet slowly but it doesn't seem to bother Jaemin who's keeping with their pace even though he just said he left his friends because they were too slow.

 

Mark has given up on finding hints or winning the race, much unlike Renjun who weirdly grew the want to come first place and dragged Jisung with him for some reason. Mark's sure Renjun's going to brag about it to them forever if he wins which would amost make Mark want to beat him but he hasn't been able to find even one hint since the start so he's just enjoying his walk in the forest with Jeno, who actually found some hints.

 

The three of them have been walking together for a few minutes when Jaemin gets hit on the head by a chestnut. He raises his hand to his head in pain and turns around to see who attacked him only to be met by his group of friends laughing, a few meters away. He mutters something for himself that Mark can't hear before running to them without forgetting to say a quick "See you later !" to Jeno and Mark.

 

Mark and Jeno both watch him go and for some reason, Mark's not surprised to see him start a chestnut fight with his friends.

 

Mark wouldn't say he has been watching Jaemin the past few days, it's just that it's pretty hard to ignore the boy when he talks to absolutely everyone. It's almost impossible to not hear his laughter in the lunchroom, he always comes first place during the games and he likes to say good morning and good night to as many people as he can everyday. Like most of the kids, he plays football and Mark thinks he has seen him ending up in Donghyuck's team a few times but he doesn't recall them ever talking together  ; when Mark thinks about it, Donghyuck tends to keep silent whenever Jaemin's brought up in conversations with his friends and he never really disagreed with Renjun about the pink-haired boy.

 

"What are you doing, Mark ?"

 

Mark snaps out of his thoughts and sees Jeno ahead of him, waiting. He hadn't noticed Jeno started walking again so he jogs to him, muttering a quick "Sorry".

 

"We haven't seen Donghyuck or Chenle for some time, don't you think ?"

 

Mark nods, looking around. Honestly, they haven't seen anyone besides Jaemin and his friends for some time, they're probably far behind everyone else. "Do you think someone got to the finish line already ?"

 

Jeno shrugs. "I could bet Renjun has won already but I think Jisung may have slowed him down a few times."

 

Mark chuckles because it's very much possible, Renjun should have gone alone if he really wanted to win.

 

 

 

"Oh, Mark, you’re alone ?"

 

Mark turns around after hearing the voice becoming familiar dangerously fast. Jaemin's only a few steps away from him, a huge stick in his hand. "What are you doing with that ?"

 

Jaemin looks down to the stick he's holding, as if he forgot he had it, before laying his eyes back on Mark. "I don’t know, I just saw it on the ground and thought it was pretty." Jaemin nods, as if to tell himself he's making complete sense. Mark nods back, although he doesn't quite see the logic in that. He thinks Jaemin's like a little kid and he reminds Mark of Chenle. They face each other for a second before Mark turns back and starts walking again, thinking their conversation is over. Jaemin doesn't get disheartned and jogs to him until he can walk by his side. "Did you lose your friends ?"

 

"Yeah. Well, more like Jeno ditched me to catch up with Renjun and Jisung. I haven't even foud any hint, why did they make this game so hard ?"

 

Mark thought Donghyuck and Chenle would do this carelessly but he truly underestimated them because it looks like they put a lot of thought in this. The hints are all very hard to find (Jeno had to climb a tree to get one of them) and impossible to understand. Actually, Mark thinks they may have made it incomprehensible on purpose.

 

"Well, I found six of them, do you want me to share them with you ?"

 

Mark's eyes widen as he looks at Jaemin. "Six ? Did you cheat ?"

 

Jaemin giggles. Jaemin's giggles are nice, Mark thinks, because Jaemin has a deep and quiet voice so his giggles sound quite unique. "Don't underestimate me. So ? Do you want them or not ?"

 

Mark sneers. "You could win all by yourself with that, I think no one got as much as you, why would you give them to me ?"

 

"Because I like you."

 

Mark raises a brow at Jaemin, who's only grinning softly at him. He doesn't say anything, waiting for Jaemin to talk again which he finally does after a few seconds during which Mark can still feel his hands become moist.

 

"Joking." Jaemin sticks his tongue out at him.

 

Mark hits his arm as he rolls his eyes while Jaemin chuckles. "You're so weird." He fastens his pace and Jaemin's eyes linger on Mark's back for a bit before he follows him.

 

"Why  ? Did you get flustered ?"

 

Mark snorts, in disbelief. "Not at all, how could I believe that for even one second ?"

 

Jaemin shrugs. "It's not that hard to believe."

 

"We litteraly don't know each other." Mark answers and Jaemin laughs, as if that wasn't a valid reason.

 

"That's only a matter of time."

 

Mark casts a glance at Jaemin and he can't help but laugh at the boy's nerve. "Right."

 

Jaemin's about to say something else but then Mark hears a faint sob and it's not long until he sees a familiar figure sitting behind a tree.

 

"Donghyuck ?"

 

Donghyuck looks back to see who called his name and when he meets Mark's eyes he quickly wipes his tears away and sends him a weak smile. "Oh, hey Mark."

 

Mark frowns, walking closer to the younger boy. "What's wrong ?" Donghyuck doesn't even have the time to tell him it's nothing, he just fell down, that Mark sees him holding his wrist, much too red and swollen for it to be normal. "Shit, did you sprain your wrist ?"

 

Donghyuck can't even think about lying because Mark's already crounching in front of him to check it himself. He just has the time to meet Jaemin's worried eyes before he feels a throbbing pain and he winces.

 

"You're really stupid." Mark sighs and Donghyuck giggles. "Let's go see the instructors, you know where they are, right ?"

 

Donghyuck nods before getting up, keeping his wrist close to his chest. Mark gets up as well and he looks at Jaemin. "Sorry, I need to go, you should try to find your friends."

 

Jaemin nods with a smile. "No problem, I hope it's not too serious Donghyuck. See you later !" And he leaves.

 

Mark and Donghyuck start walking too, in the opposite direction, and it's silent for the first few minutes. Mark thinks Renjun was right, because in the end, Donghyuck really hurt himself. He wonders what he was doing in this part of the forest because Mark's almost sure there was no one except Jaemin and him since he's been walking slowly and even taking breaks from time to time but he doesn't ask him because Donghyuck looks in pain and his eyes are still red from the crying so Mark doesn't want to ask unnecessary questions.

 

"Why were you with him ?"

 

Mark turns his head to Donghyuck but the younger's eyes are not leaving the ground.

 

"With Jaemin ?" Mark shrugs. "I don't know, I was there and he was there, we weren't really together." Donghyuck pouts when he hears Mark's answer which makes the older laugh. "Since when do you care about Jaemin ?"

 

"I don't care about Jaemin, I care about you." Donghyuck mutters as he kicks a rock on the ground. Mark doesn't hear and he misses the opportunity to ask him to repeat.

 

There's another silence during which Donghyuck's being careful about his wrist while Mark's being careful about his words, but it's not long before Donghyuck speaks again. "What if I die ?"

 

Mark explodes into laughter.

 

 

It turns out Donghyuck's injury is not serious and he feels better after only a few days. The scary experience doesn't seem to have traumatized Donghyuck that much because the day he's told he's healed, he starts running everywhere again.

 

It also turns out Renjun really did win the race and he doesn't fail to remind Mark and Jeno everyday (in the end Jeno couldn't find him), along with Jisung, who, even if he was dragged by Renjun, still won.

 

Jaemin also comes find him often now, to everyone's (especially Renjun's) surprise. Mark himself was a bit bewildered the first few times but it seems that after their short exchange, Jaemin considered Mark as his friend and so he comes talk to him several times everyday, purposely ignoring Renjun's glares and the others' confused looks.

 

Mark can't do anything but answer when Jaemin talks to him since he's not rude and he actually finds Jaemin nice, even if he likes to tease him. As time goes, they slowly talk more and more and sometimes, Mark finds himself looking for Jaemin instead of it being the other way around. It's fun, making a new friend, Mark thinks it's a feeling he'll never get tired of since he's so used of hanging with the same persons, and no matter how much he loves his current friends, it's still nice to meet new people.

 

Jaemin's also very different than Mark's friends, he can't quite put a finger on it, but there's something about Jaemin that makes you want to know more and more about him as it seems like there are always new things to discover. Mark thinks he has never met anyone like Jaemin, but at the same time, there's something familiar about him, it feels like he's known him since forever so he actually asks him one day, without really thinking about it.

 

"Have we ever met before ?"

 

"You could have found a better pick-up line." Jaemin chuckles, only glancing shortly at Mark as he's still tying his shoelaces. They're about to join the others on the field to play dodgeball or something, Mark hasn't really listened because he wasn't planning on playing but Jaemin asked him a thousand times to, please play with everyone for once, so he's getting ready to lose.

 

Mark clears his throat and rolls his eyes at the boy's boldness even though he shouldn't be surprised anymore. "That wasn't a pick-up line." He stammers. "Like seriously, your face's familiar, it's bothering me."

 

"Are you calling my face a bother ? Way to flirt with someone Lee." Jaemin looks up at Mark, still tying his shoelaces, but he's pretty sure the younger boy can't see anything through his hair falling in his eyes.

 

Mark can see his eyes clearly though. Jaemin does not look away this time and Mark gulps. Sometimes Jaemin's jokes sound so serious that Mark wonders if they even are jokes but Jaemin's always here to remind him they are.

 

"I'm kidding, Mark." Jaemin laughs again. "But no, I don't think so. How could have we possibly met ?"

 

"Yeah, you're right, I'll just forget about it." Mark scratches his neck and doesn't catch the light smile Jaemin sends his way.

 

"Okay, I'm good to go ! Let's join the others." Jaemin gets up and walks away to where everyone's waiting for them.

 

When they arrive to where everyone's at, Mark immediatly spots Donghyuck in the crowd, despite the number of people here and when their eyes meet, Donghyuck's face lights up and his lips curl in a smile. Mark smiles as well, there's nothing else he can do when Donghyuck looks this way, smiles this way and for _him_ what's more. He waves at his friend and Donghyuck takes a step towards him but he stops when he notices Jaemin by Mark's side, telling him something that makes the older's eyes drift from Donghyuck. Mark giggles and doesn't see Donghyuck's smile fading. When he turns his head again, Donghyuck's not looking at him anymore, Mark can only see his back as he looks like he's talking to one of his friends.

 

"Wait, I'll be back in one second." Mark tells Jaemin who simply nods with a smile.

 

Mark makes his way between the people separating him and Donghyuck, muttering "Sorry"'s when he pushes some of them a bit too hard by accident. He doesn't know why he's doing that right now, he could just wait until the game's over to talk to Donghyuck, he'd probably come up to him anyway, or he would see him at the dorms either way, but for some reason, he feels the urge to see his face right now, he wants to hear his voice and his laugh even if it's when he's making fun of him but right now he has his back turns to him and Mark feels something's wrong.

 

When Mark's right behind him, he suddenly regrets his choice, he thinks he's being ridiculous and there's nothing urgent but without thinking about it anymore, he taps Donghyuck's shoulder. When he turns around, Mark sees him poutting, as if he was waiting for Mark already. Mark smiles hesitantly.

 

"Hey."

 

Donghyuck nods. "You're playing today ?"

 

Mark laughs, relieved Donghyuck's making conversation. "Well, I didn't plan to but Jaemin kind of forced me so here am I."

 

Donghyuck purses his lips at that but he doesn't say anything and Mark just keeps smiling. He doesn't have any reason to smile but he's in front of Donghyuck and it's enough to make him smile. Donghyuck glares at him but after a few seconds he sighs, he really can't help it after all.

 

"You better come to my team at least."

 

Mark's eyes widen. "You're playing ? Isn't it dangerous for your wrist ?"

 

While he talks, he grabs Donghyuck's arms and raises it to his eyes to check his wrist. Donghyuck feels his fingertips on his skin and somewhat, it burns a bit more than the injury itself. He removes his arm.

 

"Why are you acting surprised ? You know I'm healed already."

 

It's true. If Mark was here when Donghyuck got hurt, he was also here when the nurse bandaged his wrist, he stayed by his side everytime Donghyuck had to change it in case something happened and he insisted on going with Donghyuck when he had to go see the nurse after some days and she told him he was alright.

 

"I'm just worried." Mark says and then they're called to gather together with the other kids so the game could start so he starts walking away but when he notices Donghyuck isn't following, he grabs his wrist gently and drags him with him.

 

 

 

Mark doesn't know what time it is but the shining moon and the slow breathings around him are enough to know it's still not time to wake up. He has been turning in his bed for a good hour without being able to go back to sleep for a reason he doesn't know. He's restless but he can't get up in fear the others would wake up, which is defintely the last thing he hopes for. So here he is, his blankets all over the place and his pillow nowhere near his head, his eyes looking straight at the ceiling, wishing he would tire himself that way. Mark has never suffered insomnia or anything similar so he doesn't know what's keeping him awake but at least this can make him feel glad he doesn't have sleeping issues because it's really frustrating Mark. He turns on his side to face a sleeping Donghyuck, eyes lightly closed as if he was to open them anytime. Mark looks at his friend for a second before sighing. If only Donghyuck was awake, he could talk with him until he fell asleep.

 

They do that sometimes, when the lights have been off for some time, Donghyuck asks him if he's asleep quietly and they talk about everything and nothing, trying to keep their laughs quiet so they don't wake up the others. Mark likes talking with Donghyuck like that because it feels different than when they usually talk. Because Donghyuck's focusing all his attention on Mark, because his voice is much softer, because Mark can see him closing his eyes from time to time, because the silences are never too long since they could mean Donghyuck has fallen asleep but after a few seconds he whispers Mark's name again, because they talk about things they wouldn't never think of normally, because Mark feels like he's talking to a different Donghyuck, just as fascinating as the one he knows during broad daylight, Mark likes it.

 

But right now Donghyuck's asleep and Mark's alone.

 

At this moment, Mark hears a faint noise from behind him, which he quickly identifies as a voice talking. He first thinks Jeno's simply sleep talking as it's one of his habits but when he pricks up his ears, he makes out words and then sentences. He hears another voice that he recognizes as Renjun’s and he was about to turn around to ask them what the hell they were doing but he freezes when he hears his best friend speak.

 

"I don’t understand what you mean Renjun."

 

Jeno's tone is confused and Mark knows he's frowning. Mark is completely frozen, he stays still facing Donghyuck, his back turned to the two others to avoid getting noticed. He knows he's prying on a personal conversation he's certainely not supposed to listen to but he tries to ease his guilt by telling himself he doesn't mean to, and it's not like he can just _stop_ listening.

 

But still, it doesn't feel right. He wants to close his ears, to go far, far, away from this room, because he can feel something is off. Jeno and Renjun are close, it's obvious they're as close as Mark is with Renjun, but their friendship is something Mark doesn't really know about. Jeno and Donghyuck are cousins, so they're practically brothers and it's nothing new, Renjun and Donghyuck are best friends and everybody knows that but Jeno and Renjun, Mark has actually never really seen them two alone so he doesn't know what kind of relationship they have, what they talk about except for the things he gets to witness when they're all together, but that's it. Mark doesn't know what they could be talking about in the middle of the night, when it sounds so serious in Jeno's tone.

 

Mark wants to get back to sleep before Renjun answers, but he can't even close his eyes, his body's tense and Jeno speaks up again, in a whisper.

 

"You say you love Donghyuck, but then you act like you don't even care about him, what's the truth ?"

 

Mark's looking at Donghyuck, soundly asleep in front of him, his mouth slightly open as he breathes and his chest goes up, and down, strands of black hair on his forehead, the blanket tossed at his feet.

 

"Of course I love him." Renjun answers and it's so low, his words almost can't be heard.

 

Mark's looking at Donghyuck, Donghyuck whom Renjun loves.

 

 

Mark doesn't have to wait long before he gets answers to his questions.

 

The very next day, the weather's a bit chilly which obviously wasn't a factor big enough to stop Donghyuck and Chenle from playing outside. Jeno was torn between the two groups that naturally formed but in the end he gave in and went with the two boys already screaming excitedly when they almost flied away because of the strong wind. Jisung would have gone with them if the one thing he couldn't stand at all wasn't the cold so he decided to stay with Mark and Renjun in the common room where the temperature is much warmer and to his liking. The other people are either outside or in their rooms so they're alone. Renjun's reading a book silently sitting on a little couch and Mark and Jisung are trying to keep their voices low so they don't bother Renjun but sometimes they laugh too loudly and Renjun glare at them but sometimes he tries to hide his smile when he hears one of their comments so Mark and Jisung don't stop.

 

Mark's glad Jisung is here because otherwise he'd feel a bit uncomfortable. He's used to being alone with Renjun, probably more than with anyone else since they like to do similar things, much calmer than what their other friends enjoy, and it has never bothered him before, he actually likes Renjun's company but today, it's different. Mark can't stop thinking about what he heard the night before and Jisung's jokes are the only things taking his mind off the matter for at least a few seconds so when Jisung leaves to see what the others are doing and Mark's alone with Renjun, he feels nervous for the first time.

 

Renjun doesn't seem bothered, he has no reason to be since he has no idea that Mark _knows_ but he notices Mark biting his nails and taping his foot on the floor.

 

"What's wrong with you suddenly ?" He asks, without looking at him.

 

Mark startles before laughing awkwardly. "Nothing." There's a silence. "Can I ask you something ?"

 

Renjun hums in approval and Mark gulps. He opens his mouth, he has all the words ready in his head but he can't manage to get them out. He repeats them ten times, twenty times, over and over and, "Do you love Donghyuck ?"

 

Renjun doesn't even look up from his book. "Of course I do, he's my best friend." His hands tense up.

 

"No, no, that's not what I mean." He licks his lips, he doesn't want to hear the answer. He's not afraid of it because he knows the truth already, he heard it from Renjun himself and he stopped hopping he misunderstood after hours of tossing in his bed. He's not afraid of the truth, he's afraid of what Renjun is going to answer because he doesn't know if Renjun is going to say the truth. He doesn't want to hear it but he speaks anyway. "Are you in love with Donghyuck ?"

 

Renjun's still not looking at him, he turns his page and his expression does not change one bit, even when he replies."Why would you ask if you already know the answer ?"

 

Mark feels his heart shatters. "Because I want to hear it from you."

 

Renjun sighs and closes his book, leaving his thumb between two pages to remember where he left his reading at later. "I'm in love with Donghyuck, yes."

 

Mark wishes he would have lied.

 

He can't see anything on Renjun's face apart from the neutral expression he always wears. It has always been the hardest to decypher Renjun's feelings, even though Mark's good at it and even if the two are extremely similar. Hard is an understatement, it's _impossible_. Renjun has feelings, it's obvious and Mark knows it, but sometimes it just feels like he's faking everything. You can't know what Renjun's thinking about. When he laughs, he may be happy, or maybe he's just laughing so he's not stared at for being weird. When he keeps his face blank, it's maybe because he's not feeling anything special at the moment, but maybe he's happy, you just can't know with him. So right now, Mark doesn't know what Renjun is feeling.

 

The atmosphere's a bit weird and Mark wonders for a second if Renjun actually knows about his own feelings for Donghyuck because his eyes are not just ones of a boy whose feelings for his best friend got found out but the next second Renjun's laughing.

 

"How did you even figure it out ? I didn't really think I was being obvious."

 

"Just a feeling." Mark chuckles, but it doesn't come from the heart and he hopes Renjun doesn't notice.

 

"It's nothing anyway," He hesitates for a second, "I've been dealing with it well until now."

 

Mark looks at Renjun and he thinks of his words the previous night and his throat closes up. "I see." He laughs. "That was unexpected !" He gets up. "Thanks for trusting me" He feels sick. "I'll go look for Jeno, I have to ask him something, I forgot."

 

Mark does an awkward thumbs up which makes Renjun giggles a bit before he leaves the room and it's silent again.

 

Renjun looks at his book on his knees and picks it up to go back to his reading.

 

After some time, Jisung comes back, talking about how he forgot his phone when Renjun hasn't asked anything in the first place, but the younger's blabbering feels nice to hear in his ringing ears.

 

"What are you doing ? Staring blankly at a page isn't reading you know." Jisung giggles and Renjun scoffs.

 

 

Outside, on his way to his room, Mark meets Jaemin.

 

"Oh, Mark ! What's up ?"

 

Mark chuckles without thinking about it. "Nothing much."

 

"Hang with me then, I'm bored." Jaemin smiles and Mark can see some of his friends at the end of the corridor so he raises his eyebrows.

 

"Weren't you with them just now, though ?" He points at Jaemin's friends with his chin and the younger boy barely glances at them before he answers.

 

"I'd rather be with you."

 

Jaemin's smile is the brightest Mark has ever seen and he can't help but smile back. "Not nice for them." He laughs.

 

He feels his heart lighten a bit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the people still reading this: <3 <3 hearts <3 love !  
> im so!!mad!! because i really wanted to include a part i had written a loooong time ago about renhyuck's childhood but i decided not to since i thought it would be confusing .. im rly sad i loved that part,,,  
> jaemins character was finally introduced!! look forward to him owo
> 
> you can leave kudos or comments or whatever if you feel like it that would make me very happy<3


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